Sid Vicious vs. Mountain Man Bailey WCW Power Hour [1991-01-19]
I can't imagine a better way to start this project then with this match. Going into this project I have a fairly good idea of what I think the greatest squash match wrestlers will be and I got Sid projected to be very high on this list. If this was an NBA draft preview I'd talk about his potential and his huge upside and wingspan. But this is about wrestling, so instead I'll talk about the fact Sid absolutely murders jobbers and it's awesome.
That being said, this is a very basic Sid squash and very low on the Sid rankings, but who frigging cares because he's wrestling a dude named Man Mountain Bailey. Man Mountain Bailey is a perfect representation of the things I was hoping to accomplish in this project. Just a weird, weird gimmick dude. I'm not sure how to describe Bailey other than he looks like a guy who has been to multiple tractor pulls, but lacks the resources to seriously compete. I've created the narrative in my head that he's wrestling on the side to earn money so he can enter the competition and save his family's dairy farm. It's far more likely someone saw this big sumbitch and told him he should put on overalls and be one of them there 'rasslers, BUT I LIKE FAKE WRESTLING LORE. . I cannot believe sumbitch wasn't autocorrected when I typed it. I didn't know it was a real word.
Mountain Man Bailey is a really big dude, and whenever a big dude is getting squashed I just assume it's because they are either green or not very good.
I was correct.
This is a strike heavy squash match which quit frankly, usually suck. The bright spots in the match are when Bailey is unsure how to sell and just sorts shakes and staggers to the ground. It looks like me trying to dance at a wedding. My girlfriend refers to my dance moves as "exhibiting some real drunk aunt energy". Pete Davidson gets BDE, I have BDAE. At one point some fan with a cowboy hat and a cowbell starts jaw-jacking with Sid and as I type that sentence I had a flashback to all the life decisions I made that led me to this moment in my life. Life is different if I don't get robbed of my home run in Little League back in 2000. I don't care what anyone says, the kid reached over the fence to rob it. It was not at the warning track. Stop gaslighting me kids who were also on the Giants in the 5th grade.
After a lot of choking and punching and unnecessary posing ( my favorite squash match trope) Sid hits a big splash and then finishes off the old Mountain Man with a big old power bomb for the win. There's also a crawl advertising a military press conference the next day, because it's the Gulf War and the American media loves a good old fashioned war in the middle east. It's a good thing that never happened again
Not a great squash, but it's kinda fun it just to see Sid Vicious , the master and commander of the world, take on a jobber who I don't think will be popping up a lot on this. You won't be disappointed, but not impressed either.
TLDR REVIEW
DisappoinSid. I need more Mountain Man Bailey. I dance weird
If you're interested in more condensed version of my thoughts, You can check out my Twitter where I talk about wrestling or stress out during Boston Celtics games. Hell, I'll even take suggestions for matches you want to see reviewed. You can also check out my Youtube where I make weird videos where I put on wigs in front of a camera to mask my true identity.