First a Mission Hill Statement
That was a good show.
Ok, now let's blog for real
Hey There Wimpy Boy Flying through the sky so Fancy Free
I have a very difficult time sitting still and watching anything consistently. I just don't seem able to display the patience. I don't know if it's A.D.D or FOMO or LFO, well it's probably closest to LFO because like their hit song Summer Girls this mission statement will just be a series of facts.
Fact number 1. Billy Shakespeare wrote a whole bunch of sonnets
Fact number 2. I love pro wrestling
Nothing makes me happier then melodramatic people fake fighting in colorful costumes , but sometimes 'rasslin can be a bit overindulgent. Don't get me wrong, I love me a quality long wrestling match as much as the next guy, but I got books to pretend I need the time to read. So over the years I've developed such an affinity for wrestling that gets to the point.
Squash Matches
Call them jobbers, enhancement talent, wimpys ( I mean I did hence the name which I wish I could take credit for, but I heard the term from the old Rob Naylor comps), jabronis, professional losers, or my personal favorite "Regular Guys", but I would put a quality squash match up against anything you throw at it. I know there is a lot of craftmanship in a Steamboat/Flair match.....but have you ever seen Scott Steiner throw a untrained part-time security guard on his head.
Jesus Wept for their were no more worlds left to conquer.
Squash Matches are for those of us who know that ultimately going out to a fine dining establishment is better, but are confident enough to admit.... sometimes a gas station hot dog is the best meal. I know others feel about this the way I do, but shockingly whenever I've tried to do deep dives to find the greatest squash matches ever, I rarely find hidden gems. The same matches come up time after time, believe me I will cover Sid Vicious vs Lee Scott like a Dostoevsky novel, but rarely am I surprised by something new.
And so with that in mind, I present to you Hey There Wimpy Boy because my own personal code of ethics wouldn't allow me to start this blog until I worked in a Simpsons reference. This is my Quixotic quest to watch squash matches everyday and present you with my opinions and hopefully by the end, I'll have a fairly definitive list of some of the greatest squash matches of all time. I'll try my best to dive into why I think the matches are great or terrible and maybe make some jokes along the way you enjoy.
I hope you dig it.
I need to assure any future readers that I do not sound like Andy Rooney. Ever since I started this mission statement I've begun to suspect there's a chance my inner monologue sounds like him.
If you're interested in more condensed version of my thoughts, You can check out my Twitter where I talk about wrestling or stress out during Boston Celtics games. Hell, I'll even take suggestions for matches you want to see reviewed. You can also check out my Youtube where I make weird videos where I put on wigs in front of a camera to mask my true identity.