Gene Snitsky vs Val Venis WWE Monday Night Raw 09-27-2004
Gene Snitsky might be the first meme wrestler.
This is where my wrestling history gets a little wonky, so bare with me as I throw out some probably incorrect information. You have aunts on Facebook, you've seen worse. There have been wrestlers who were, for lack of a better term, ironically loved before. There were the Atlanta Boys who would attend WCW tapings and go apeshit for Tex Slazenger and Shanghai Pierce, there was TNA's Heels section crew, there were the TNA Lance Hoytamaniacs who really liked Lance Hoyt for some reason, and there were other non TNA pockets in various companies of fans who liked wrestlers for reasons outside the norm. So it wasn't completely out of the real of possibility, but I don't remember it ever happened like it did with Gene Snitsky
But just to be clear, it wasn't his fault
I mean that was his whole gimmick, but it's also based in fact. Snitsky debuted in 2004 in what was supposed to be a one-off role. He was supposed to be the catalyst for Lita's miscarriage. Let me provide context, the baby's father was Kane. Let me provide more context, Kane had basically forced Lita into carrying his seed through an implied rape. Let me provide more context, Lita agreed to this if Kane would stop assaulting Matt Hardy. Let me provide more context, this angle was gross as fuck. Anyways, Snitsky was supposed to be the one who "ended" the pregnancy. Like I said, gross. Snitsky was a WWE developmental signee who was just supposed to be to get them from point a to point b to end the pregnancy. They had zero plans to call him up, he was just a pawn in the cruel game of life.
However, WWE didn't stop to think that the fanbase would want you know...storyline development and as a result WWE rushed into making Gene Snitsky a part on the main roster. Now, I'm unclear on the timeline of when the decision was made, but god I hope it was after he cut a promo. A week after the incident Gene Snitsky cuts an awesomely bad promo about how "It wasn't his fault", and a meme wrestler was born. I was on forums back them and people loved Snitsky. Nobody thought he was actually good at wrestling, but people loved him anyways. WWE steered into it with the catchphrase and Snitsky did goofier and goofier shit. It was the first time I remember seeing wrestling fans love a wrestler for reasons like that. Snitsky wasn't good at wrestling, but who gave a shit because he was awesome. Just not awesome in the ring, just at making us laugh
Let's see if the laughter will continue as we take a trip to Monday Night Raw in September of 2004. We are only two weeks removed from Snitsky debuting in one of the most tasteless moments in WWE history, think about the ground that covers, and now he's got himself a match against Val Venis. Snitsky is out first with his "definitely not a rush job" theme music. Snitsky is a unique looking individual that's for sure. I forgot how massive his shoulders are, and also his head. Maybe it's the receding hairline but his noggin is massive. It's the size of sputnik. That was a wee bit offside wasn't it.
He'll be crying to sleep tonight on his huge pillow.
Hell yeah ,we get a Snitsky promo where he reminds all of us that it wasn't his fault. Shaggy's favorite wrestler. God Snitsky is so bad at promos, or is it so good at promos. I don't know anymore. Val Venis out next and taking me back to the simpler days when his brain wasn't full of worms, but his trunks were full of his big old weiner. I've never seen it to confirm, but he's a porn star so you have to assume. This is short hair, latter stage of his career Val where he was basically put in the role of " make these untrained green guys look good". Not to be confused with bald, latterer stage Val when he is on the role of " make yourself look stupider every time you tweet" Match underway as Snitsky throws hands at Val. Snitsky will definitely make a grunty wrestler hall of fame. He follows up the punches with stomps, and then more punches. Oh god, it's one of these huh? He whips Val into the turnbuckles and comes back with a clothesline in the corner that Val goes above and beyond bumping up for. Now, MORE STOMPS and the crowd is chanting Baby Killer at him. Didn't know Henry Kissinger was wrestling, oh wait I'm sorry they're chanting it at Snitsky. I get confused sometimes, like about how Kissinger never got charged with war crimes. That one...that one was his fault. Val throws some punches to get separation, but Snitsky comes back with a big old shoulderblock to cut him off. A nice legdrop from Snitsky and then A REAR CHINLOCK. This suuuuuuuckkksss. Val fights out of the chinlock and hits a pair of nice dropkicks and now HES CLIMIMBG THE TOP ROPE FOR THE MONEY SHOT. It never dawned on me what a gross name that is for a finish. Val was premature anyways as Snitsky moves. Snitsky hits a nice big boot and then a Pumphandle Slam for the win.
That was certainly something we watched together. I didn't say enjoy, I said watched. That was everything I hate in a squash match, and plus a new thing I hated. Didn't think I'd have to add miscarriage angles to my list of squash match pet peeves ,but 2004 WWE is full of surprises. Its almost as if calling a guy not ready for the main roster up because you underthought a major storyline is a bad idea. Hey man, I know it sucks you had to watch this Snitsky match but you didn't need to read this. You could have tapped out before it ended. If you're still sour about it, just remember
It wasn't my fault
TLDR Review
Snitsky was Shitty. Val before he was very dumb. I can't believe there are MULTIPLE Miscarriage Angles in wrestling history.
If you're interested in more condensed version of my thoughts, You can check out my Twitter where I talk about wrestling or stress out during Boston Celtics games. Hell, I'll even take suggestions for matches you want to see reviewed. You can also check out my Youtube where I make weird videos where I put on wigs in front of a camera to mask my true identity.