Super Mario vs The Hawk USWA 08-14-1993
"Run like the wind, don't fall like the potato"
Whenever I think about Super Mario, I think of my dad yelling that at the television as we played. When I was young, my dad was a painter and so he was able to work around his schedule more and take care of me during the day. He was basically Michael Keaton in Mr. Mom most days. My mom worked in a hotel including some overnights, so for the first few years it was just me and my dad a lot of the time. My dad had a lot of little kid energy, so that's the stuff we did. Whether it be super soaker fights, or trips to the beach, or letting me climb a rock and then I fell and smashed my head open and when he told me I split my head open I assumed I had turned into Robert Patrick from Terminator 2 when he gets shot.
Regular Dad and Son Stuff
He also taught me the secret to making really good Kraft mac and cheese which became my favorite food. It didn't dawn on me until years later that he was incepting me because Mac and Cheese was probably the only thing he could cook. I would say you can't screw it up, but there has to be psychos who put the milk in before the margarine and cheese powder. What I remember most is playing Video Games with my dad. We had a NES and later SNES which was kept in my parents room "to monitor how much I played", but I figured out that was bullshit and my dad just wanted to play it whenever he was bored . There was Jungle Strike, a helicopter game where you have to stop terrorists by shooting from your helicopter. The first level was Washington D.C and the second level was.....I don't know. We would usually just get bored during the first level and then try to blow up all the monuments. Obviously though, the be all and end all was the original Super Mario. Looking back on it, I know I must have been awful at the game and it must have driven my dad crazy. Here he was wasting his valuable lives so I could miss time jumping on a goomba for the 5th straight time. But we played and we worked on it and we beat it. I don't know when or how, all I know is one day the princess was there. Super Mario had saved the day, now what was he going to do
He was gonna go to Memphis to be a wrestler
I can't even blame Memphis for this gimmick, because not only is there this Super Mario, there was a wrestler in the northeast known as Super Duper Mario as well. Listen, this blog tries it's best to rotate who I cover and approach stuff from a different angle.....but anytime pro wrestling so blatantly steals from pop culture it's an instant review. This Super Mario is here competing in the USWA on this summer day in 1993 and his opponent is a jobber named The Hawk. Right off the bat, holy crap is Super Mario little. Height wise, not so much weight wise. He's named Super Mario, but his proportions are way more Wario. Even Dave Brown on commentary is barely holding it together when he sees the size difference between Super Mario and The Hawk. Hawk comes off the ropes at Mario and MARIO USES HIS BELLY TO KNOCK HIM OVER. Oh my god I love this. Give me more Gut related offense. Hawk off the ropes and A POWERSLAM FROM SUPER MARIO. Super Mario is so small, like barely 5feet tall and so that looked absurd. Finally Mario hits a running splash and somehow almost slides off Hawk. The whole time Dave Brown and Corey Maclin are delighted. Post match there's an angle involving Gangrel and Jeff Jarrett because Memphis.
It's not hall of fame, but go out of your way to see it. Super Mario just needs to be seen to be believed and it's so quick and worth your time.
Though I guess his finish is basically falling like the potato
TLDR Review
Super Mario is stupid. Super Mario rules. El Gigante should have done a Waluigi gimmick
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