The Moondogs vs Tim Wilson and George Robertson USWA 01-11-1992
I can't believe Samoa Joe is booked here.
That's what I said to my friend Michael as we sat in a Knights of Columbus in Bridgewater Massachusetts. Through some sheer coincidence of luck, Samoa Joe ( currently in TNA) was making a random appearance about two miles from my college. I can't get the timeframe exactly right, but this was a Joe that was still a fresh and big deal in TNA. How the hell did he get booked here. We surveyed the scene and were baffled. The Patriot was here. King Kahlua was here. Shortsleeve Sampson was here. Danny Davis was the top babyface. That's right, WWF heel referee Danny Davis. Samoa Joe?.....here?. Listen it wasn't a great show, but it was a real weird show. Samoa Joe wrestled Josh Daniels of all people in the main event. While everyone else chanted TNA my friend and I tried to get a Zero-1 chant going. Joe won of course, and the curtain was open just enough for us to see Joe said something to the promotor. I won't repeat what it was....because...well.. I don't actually know.....but he was not pleased. I honestly can't remember much more of that night other than Joe except for one wrestler
Moondog....Something
Shit. I guess I don't remember everything about him. Either way, this show featured a tag team of Wolfman and Moondog Something. The Wolfman looked eerily like a young Glenn Danzig. So he was a pocket sized hunk. Moondog looked like a Moondog. He had the uncouth blonde hair. He had a chain. He had a Patriots tattoo on his back. Wait, what? I couldn't stop laughing at it. It wasn't even that he had the Patriots logo. Listen, I love the Patriots. I want Tom Brady to kiss me on the mouth like I'm his son ,but come on. The main reason I laughed was because of how prominent it was. It was dead center in his back. He wore a singlet top, but its almost like he wanted to highlight how much of a Patriots fan he was, because it was so visible it became distracting. The idea of the wild savage Moondog who will destroy his opponents, before 1pm on Sunday because then he has to sit down and watch a football game for three hours It made me laugh. I always thought The Moondogs were a silly gimmick. I saw photos of it and it just seemed like lazy fat guy wrestling. It seemed like a gimmick you give a guy with a Patriots tattoo who looks smelly. The Moondogs were corny.
Please don't tell them I said that
The Moondogs in this match tonight are Spot and Spike and they are far from corny. In context, The Moondogs came into USWA Memphis Wrestling in the early 90s and caused absolute chaos. They beat the ever loving shit out of jobbers. There is a great playlist on Youtube called Horror of the Moondogs. It is a playlist of the entire Moondogs vs Jerry Lawler/Robert Fuller/Jeff Jarrett feud and it is something. The Moondogs start off kind of hokey but within weeks are full fledged killers. There are so many brutal squash matches that I had to just pick a random one rather than get paralyzed by indecisiveness . Don't worry they will be appearing a lot more on this blog for sure, and we will dive more into the team and gimmick. For now, let's just dive in regukar
I very rarely call the enhancement talent victims. However tonight we will not be calling a spade a spade we will call it a shovel because that's what it fucking is. Tonight's victims for the Moondogs are Tim Wilson and George Robertson. The Moondogs are accompanied by their magaer Richard Lee who blows a dog whistle during the whole match. It would be annoying if I wasn't distracted by the attempts at homicide in the ring. From the jump, The Moondogs rush the ring and are all over The Wimpies. I can't identify which wimpy is which so I'll just make it up. Roberston is tossed to the hard floor. There are no mats in Memphis. Jerry Jarrett ain't got the money for that. Inside the ring, Robertson gets hit with a beautiful Demolition Decapitation for the win. The Moondogs win in 20 seconds, but the squashing is not over. While Richard Lee screams on commentary about what they're going to do to Jeff Jarrett, The Moondogs never stop fighting. The camera work can barely keep up with them, switching from one Moondog to the other which adds to the chaos of it all.
Then The Moondogs get a a chair. They are destroying them with chairs. Robertson tries to flatten his back to soften the blows, but The Moondogs are just walloping him anyways. Wilson is getting his ass kicked, but Roberston is getting the worst of it. He finally gets up and gets hit with an unproectoed chairshot to the skull. It wasn't unprotected on purpose. He tried to protect himself but The Moondog swings the chair so hard it goes past his hands and bashes his brain. Poor Wilson takes a back bump on the concrete floor and the sound of his flabby man meat hitting the ground is horrifying. They finally stop hitting Robertson with folding chairs. INSTEAD THEY THROW AN OFFICE CHAIR AT HIM. Right in the knees. Jesus. Wilson's gotten off kind of scott-free as far as beating goes so far. That ends shortly as he comes flying into frame when he's thrown over the announcers desk. The Moondogs flip the desk and just SQUASH WILSON with it. It sounds awful. Well at least they're done. Nope they hit them with chairs like three more times before finally leaving
Wow. Just wow. This is fantastic and brutal. The only reason this isn't a Hall of Famer is because I know there are multiple other Moondogs in Memphis squashes and I need to pick the right one. This is absolute brutality though. Must watch, Holy shit. You can tell its good because I stopped making jokes
TLDR Review
Poor George Robertson. Poor Tim Wilson. Poor Impersonation of a Moondog
If you're interested in more condensed version of my thoughts, You can check out my Twitter where I talk about wrestling or stress out during Boston Celtics games. Hell, I'll even take suggestions for matches you want to see reviewed. You can also check out my Youtube where I make weird videos where I put on wigs in front of a camera to mask my true identity.