"The Taskmaster" Kevin Sullivan vs The Mighty Yankee WCW Main Event 06-09-1996
There's absolutely no chance this match didn't occur just because Kevin Sullivan is a Red Sox fan.
Its June 1996 and in just a few months The Yankees will win yet another goddamn World Series. Meanwhile The Red Sox will finish third in the division and all I remember from that season is it's the year Roger Clemens left. It wasn't exactly the funnest time to be a Red Sox fan, but then again no time before 2004 was fun to be a Red Sox fan. I'm lucky I was born in 88, I only had to hear stories about the drought. It got so bad that once you would hear about someone elderly dying your IMMEDIATE reaction would be to start doing the math to see if they ever saw a Red Sox title. By the time I was a teenager me and my friends would play a game anytime we found yourself in a large group of people. Whether it be on a subway, or at a parade, or leaving a show..... If you yelled Yankees Suck at least twice, within about 2 minutes a chant would get going. That's a level of petty even Tom can't comprehend. So I can only imagine that Kevin Sullivan, who I believe was booking WCW at the time, saw a gimmick called The Mighty Yankee and decided he needed to work some shit out.
For me personally, Kevin Sullivan is one of the most interesting people in wrestling history. In a business dominated by giants, Kevin Sullivan is billed at 5'9 ( no way) and became a major heel everywhere he went. In 1980s Florida, Kevin fed into the Satanic Panic and became Satan incarnate to that audience. Go back and watch old Florida angles, there was some heavy heavy stuff going on. People thought Kevin Sullivan was the Devil. And most important of all. Most remarkable of all. Most unbelievable of all
He had one of the thickest Boston accents I've ever heard
I've heard a lot of them man. Growing up around here you learn to distinguish between the various types. There's the " Drunk Boston Accent", "The Person obviously trying to have an accent accent", " The "They Hide their accent until they get too tired and then it slips out", and so many more. But Kevin Sullivan's got one of those thick boys. I find it absolutely hilarious that the Lord of Darkness would speak like a guy from Malden. On top of all that, he goes to WCW and becomes a booker. He becomes one of the top heels in the promotion, and the moniker he is given is Taskmaster. A name that sounds utterly ridiculous when spoken in a Boston accent. I have a theory that you can determine if an athlete is going to be popular around here based just around the name. People liked Zdeno Chara so much because his name was spelt like how they would have pronounced it anway.
So here we are, with The Taskmaster on WCW Main Event taking on The Mighty Yankee..The Taskmaster is a safe for work version of Kevin Sullivan's Devil character. It's the equivalent of The Wedding Crashers TV Eedit when they say "Cheese And Rice" instead of "Jesus Christ". Taskmaster was the leader of The Dungeon of Doom and I CANNOT WAIT to get them on here. The Mighty Yankee is bigger than Sullivan, so's everyone else in the world, and his gear is certainly gear. Even Tim Gunn couldn't make this outfit work. It's black and yellow and yuck all over. On the plus side, he's wearing a mask which you know is my favorite thing a wimpy can do.
Sullivan is all over The Mighty Yankee right away with punches and strikes. Sullivan always knew his size was his limitation so he made sure to be extra aggressive. He's like a little honey badger. Sullivan tosses Mighty Yankee out of the ring and then into the steps. Sullivan has not stopped moving. Back in the ring Sullivan stomps Yankee's face. Legally obligated to say fuck Alex Rodriguez here. Sullivan has Yankee in the corner, and now Arn Anderson comes down to ringside. This was during the Dungeon of Doom and Four Horsemen alliance that...happened. I don't remember details man, I was 8. Kevin Sullivan still stomping at The Mighty Yankee, including his hand which is a great shithead thing to do. Sullivan throws Mighty Yankee outside who gets caught in the ropes and hits apron then floor. Ouch that looked rough. On the outside Arn posts Yankee and rolls him back in so Sullivan can hit a running double stomp for the win
It's not a great squash, but Kevin Sullivan is good at squashing. Little Kevin will definitely be popping up more on this blog. The match had a quick pace and Sullivan always made sure something was happening. Too many of these delve into big guys being lazy, but Sullivan kept it interesting. Plus I got to see a guy named The Miighty Yankee get beat up, which warms the cockels of my heart.
TLDR Review
Fucking Andy Petite. Fuck Karim Garcia. Fuck Don Zimmer
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