Ivan Putski vs Jose Estrada WWF Championship Wrestling 08-21-1982
Every school project I could make about wrestling I did.
Not to toot my own horn, but I was a smart kid in elementary school. I've been coasting off it for years. I got put in this program called E.LP, which was this biweekly class for the smarter kids. Despite being a nerd class, it was more about doing weird and creative projects than anything. I loved it because school was so boring. I did good at it, back then, but it was so friggin' early. Plus my bus picked me up in the middle of whatever show I was watching at the time, so I missed it. The sheer amount of half-watched Mutant League Football episodes in my life is disheartening. The class was smaller, which meant we basically got to pick the projects. The teacher would throw out some ideas and we got to pick, which is why we one time did a fake job fair. We were going to pick out what jobs we wanted as an adult, and we were going to make a display and our non-ELP classmates, those peasants, were going to come by and I don't know...look at stuff we made. In retrospect, this was a very weird idea. There was someone who wanted to be a doctor. There was someone who wanted to be a veterinarian. Me, I wanted to be a pro wrestler baby. My mom still makes fun of me about it. I was in this class designed for smart kids, and my dream was to join a profession that involved damaging my brain. My wrestler name was Bad Boy, Joey Janela owes me royalties, and it is shocking how I sort of predicted what I looked like as an adult. One tattoo on my shoulder, long black hair, and a sleeveless shirt. That was basically my look for most of my twenties. Guess what, I crushed it... because I actually gave a shit. I cared about wrestling and it made me care about school. For most people who snuck wrestling into school, that would be there crowning achievement.
I'm not most people, I didn't even tell you about the time I was Ivan Putski
It was the second or third grade and we were learning about immigration. Somebody thought that it would be a good idea to instill some empathy in school children to other cultures. Woke culture gone amok. Someone also decided, probably because they were out of ideas, that we would actually portray immigrants in a fake talk show setting. We were broken into groups with one student, the worst one, as the interviewer and the rest of us as immigrants being interviewed about Ellis Island and tenements and the like. Like a little shitty Tom Hardy, I couldn't just be normal about it. The brunt of my family was Irish, but that was far too easy for me. Even more like a little shitty Tom Hardy, I needed to pick a character with a voice. I also needed to find a way to work wrestling into it so I would give a shit. That's why in that classroom, Ivan Putski made his debut. Not the pro wrestler of course, but the Polish immigrant kid who liked stickball and wearing suspenders. I'm going to assume I based the whole idea of being Ivan Putski off his like random cameo on RAW when he teamed with his son Scott. He's polish, and Poland is a foreign country...this will work. I put on a polish accent. Do you know what a polish accent sounds like? Neither did I, so I Basically did a Russian accent that's on par with Peter Stormare's Russian cosmonaut in Armageddon. SPACE SHUTTLE. Once again, I crushed it. I swear to god the only memories I have of school are times I worked pro wrestling into it. As for my memories of Ivan Putski, I have virtually none because I had hardly seen a singles match of his...until now.
I also crush at transitions.
It's back to 1982 as Ivan Putski is taking on Jose Estrada in an edition of WWF Championship Wrestling. I recently went to dinner with my dad and explained the blog and told him I was doing an Ivan match and he got so excited. Ivan Putski was one of my dad's favorite wrestlers when he was a kid and it's easy to see why because Putski is jacked to the gills here. It's impressive in 1982 so it's double impressive here in modern times. This is later career Putski too so I can only imagine how massive he was. His arms are absolutely massive here. He looks like he would tear a bicep just by lifting his arms above his head. Jesus Christ. I'm mesmerized and not in an erotic way , more so in a ....what did modern science do to this man kind of way? Putski's opponent tonight is Jose Estrada, a WWF wimpy mainstay who gained some infamy later on as one of the legendary Los Conquistadors. The match is underway and the size difference is shocking. Both in the mass of Putski and his relatively short stature. Putski is shorter than Estrada, but Putski is built like a shit brickhouse. I also can't tell if Putski has short arms or if his biceps are so big that it prevents them from hanging down his side. They lock up and Jose gets a hammerlock, which seems like a really bad idea. In what cannot be a shocking turn of events, Putski powers out. His nickname is literally Polish Power. Seems like a dumb idea Jose. Putski poses, and yeah his arms are super short and now he's creeping me out. Jose locks Ivan in a full nelson because Jose Estrada's gimmick must be he's a fucking idiot. Ivan Putski, powers it out again and flexes, WHILE CRUSHING JOSE'S ARMS. Jose finally gets a clever thought in his head and just starts wailing on Ivan. Ivan starts to recover, but Jose bails out to the floor. Ivan gives chase and unloads on Jose with punches from his little short arms. The pace finally picks up as now they're trading blows back in the ring, but Ivan hits the ropes and nails the Polish Hammer for the win. Post match Putski poses and Jose and Putski have a brief skirmish
It's fine. It was pretty quick and told a very simple story. Ivan Putski is strong, Jose Estrada is bad at strategy, and Ben can't help but notice when people have a weird body. I can't stress enough what a ridiculous physical specimen Ivan Putski is. I'm not dabbing myself like a Southern Gentleman because he's so sexy, I'm dabbing myself like a scientist who is trying to figure out who played God when he created him.
I would have done a lot better in HS Biology if that could have been one of my projects
TLDR Review
Ivan Putski's biceps are massive. Ivan Putski's arms are short. Jose Estrada's strategies are sus.
If you're interested in more condensed version of my thoughts, You can check out my Twitter where I talk about wrestling or stress out during Boston Celtics games. Hell, I'll even take suggestions for matches you want to see reviewed. You can also check out my Youtube where I make weird videos where I put on wigs in front of a camera to mask my true identity.