Texas Tornado vs Pat Tanaka WWF Wrestling Challenge 02-09-1992
How did every child believe their were two Ultimate Warriors?
You talk to anyone who was alive during the early 90s and pretty much all of them have the story of hearing that Ultimate Warrior died and was replaced. It was the "Paul is Dead" of pro wrestling. From schoolyards to schoolyard across the country, always a rumor that there was two Ultimate Warriors. Hell, even I believed there were two Ultimate Warriors. The craziest part? Warrior was gone by the time I have any recollection of him wrestling. All I had to go on with Warrior was a Colliseum video I watched a lot, and the comforting fact that that Ultimate Warrior was dead and had been replaced. Now everyone has their own spin on the story, but my recollection was simply that the New Ultimate Warrior was under our noses the whole time
Texas Tornado.
I was convinced that Texas Tornado was the second Ultimate Warrior. Once again, Texas Tornado wasn't even around when my memory starts. Somehow I still had it engrained in my head that he was the second Warrior. It's not just me either, so many people all had the exact same thought. It'd gotten so ridiculous hearing the story that I can't believe WWF didn't actually make him the second Ultimate Warrior. Fuck off Jim, we got Kerry now. The funny thing dawned on me when deciding to look into doing a Texas Tornado match. I've never ACTUALLY seen a Texas Tornado match. I knew about the Hasbro and I think I saw a Survivor Series match he was in, but never a standard Texas Tornado singles match. Hell, I don't think I've ever seen a Kerry Von Erich singles match. I am a terrible wrestling historian, why do you guys even read this? Oh yeah because I'm cute and interesting. Well let's strap in boys, and let's head back to 1992
Here we are in August of 1992. In 3 months I will beg my parents to vote for Ross Perot for unexplained reasons, but instead they will vote Bill Clinton. Even when I was four I knew the two party system was bullshit. Clinton won, but luckily my aunt let me know Ross Perot was elected president of my town.
Wait.
Fuck.
Tonight we have WWF Wrestling Challenge as the previously mentioned Texas Tornado will be facing Pat Tanaka. Tornado is out first and man the women love him. He kisses one woman on the cheek who flips the fuck out. He's kissing a lot of women actually. Is this a thing he did? His opponent is Pat Tanaka. Tanaka was a member of the tag team, Orient Express but at this point he is an occasional wimpy. God bless Tanaka, who's gimmick appears to be male Jennifer Beals in Flashdance cosplayer. He looks like he woke up like dis. Tornado tries to get his robe off, but Tanaka attacks him from behind. Kerry struggles to get his jacket off while Tanaka hits him which is intended. However, it goes on a bit too long and by the end Tornado just looks stupid. Tornado does master the art of disrobing and counters with some great punches. I try not to be a GODDAMN WRESTLING ZOOMERS CANT WRESTLE RIGHT GUY, too much, but I do love me a good punch. Ban the forearm strike. While Pat Tanaka is selling, it's probably a good time to talk about Kerry's boots. They're covered in tassels. It is scientifically proven that tassels make a wrestler better. it's just a fact. I think I'm going to do a full entry on tassels at some point, because I am a crazy person The tassels are worth the hassle. Kerry hits Tanaka with a big clothesline followed by some punches. I can't put my finger on it, but Kerry moves different in the ring. I don't know if it's because of the fact he's missing a foot or he's working the tornado gimmick, but everything is frantic in a good way. He gets Tanaka in the CLAW. THE CLAW. I can't be the only one who saw Liar Liar and got pissed during the THE CLAW THE CLAW Scene. THATS NOT THE CLAW !CARY ELWES YOU ARE A FUCKING IDIOT. He holds the claw for so long though, it gets a bit much. It's a resthold so I hate it, but its the claw so I don't. I'm a man of contradictions. Tanaka finally gets to his feet so Tornado releases the hold and hits the spinning discus punch for the win.
Nothing too special, but it made me actually curious to check out more of Kerry Von Erich. I liked the frantic way Kerry worked, but having half the match be a claw hold was just not my tempo. Or anyone's tempo. Because the tempo was too slow. Even Type O Negative would have told them to pick up the pace. Skippable match
I much prefer when he was the Warrior
TLDR Review
Two Ultimate Warriors. Two Moves in this match. Two of Hearts, Two Hearts that beat as one
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