Commandos vs Max Miles & Max McGyver NWA World Championship Wrestling 12-12-1988
My girlfriend says I like everything. She's learned to maybe not take my reccomendations on movies and television shows too seriously because I usually find it at least entertaining. She says I'm like Don Lake playing a critic in For Your Consideration,
" I gotta tell you. I see a lot of films. I love them all".
She's probably right. It's not that I'm an optimist as much as I try to be. Everything is terrible all the time, and when it comes to the media I consume I try to avoid it. I think I've gotten pretty good at knowing what I like. It's not that I don't have movies or shows I don't like, it's just that I can sort of sus out stuff and bail out. I'm not infallible, I make mistakes and end up watching some garbage before it dawns on me this isn't worth anyone's time. I don't hate watch anything ,
I just hate watching anything.
My attention span is shot. I devoted a blog to all wrestling under five minutes, I think you get my whole deal here. What's the point of watching a movie or show that's just going to make you irrationally angry even though it really doesn't affect your day to day life
That's what sports are for.
But sometimes you do get a bit bummed out when you think something is going to be awesome and it isn't. Like if you ordered a pizza and then it was covered in Scorpions and realized you ordered a Scorpions Lovers Pizza because you were drunk and thinking about the 80s Heavy Metal Band.
You know, that relatable thing.
That's when my optimism fades and I can be a brat about what I watched. When I think something is going to be great, but instead I find myself disappointed.
" I gotta tell you. I see a lot of squash matches. I love them all, but not this one"
This isn't very good, it isn't regular good. It's bad, and it sucks because I had high hopes. NWA Wrestling is a huge weak spot for me, I was born in 88 and I filled my 80s WWF knowledge by renting VHS tapes at the video store. I don't think I ever saw a single NWA or WCW tape and so my only exposure was watching WCW Saturday Night. So this to me is all brand new stuff. The squashers are The Commandos of Commando Boone and Commando Ray. No idea who Commando Boone was even with a cagematch search, and Commando Ray is Ray Candy. I only know that name because our library had a book about 80s territory wrestling characters called "The Good, The Bad, and The Ugly". I haven't thought about that in 25 years and I will now be buying it.
The Commandos are two heavy gentleman in fatigues and I was ready for some big dude beatdowns. I love a fat guy in wrestling when they're good, because even if they do something normal it's just so impressive. All I require is one cool move and to use your fatness as an effective weapon and I'm sold. This though?, This ain't it. This is boring and bland and just a lot of strikes and biting and really really disappointing. The Job guys are fine, but this isn't an Indigo Girls blog. I don't want anything closer to fine. I want something fun. This is super unremarkable, and it overstays it's welcome for sure. The only part I really liked was when Commando Boone accidently tripped over one of the jobbers and fell outside the ring. If that's not a metaphor for this whole experience than I don't know what is. Seriously though, what is a metaphor? I was raised in a Simile household.
TLDR REVIEW
Really Boring. Like Really Boring. Like Really Really Boring
If you're interested in more condensed version of my thoughts, You can check out my Twitter where I talk about wrestling or stress out during Boston Celtics games. Hell, I'll even take suggestions for matches you want to see reviewed. You can also check out my Youtube where I make weird videos where I put on wigs in front of a camera to mask my true identity.