Dr. D David Schultz vs Mike Dorsett WWF All Star Wrestling 01-07-1984
It's ort of funny John Stossel got slapped.
Yeah yeah I know violence isn't the answer. He was just doing his job. Rational thoughts and pearl clutching, etc
I get it.
If "Doctor D" slapped any other reporter, it wouldn't be funny....well other than Geraldo. But he didn't slap Hugh Downs, he slapped John Stossel and John Stossel sucks. Maybe John didn't suck back then, but he sucks now. A libertarian shithead who "stands up for the little guy", but really is more about corporations than humanity. Not to get too political, but I think libertarianism is dumb. I get the logic behind it, but that's all it is is.... logic applied without humanity or empathy. Irrational Rationality. A friend of mine showed me his membership card for the Libertarian Party. I showed him my Subway Rewards Card. Mine was more impressive, because I actually get something out of it sometimes. A lackluster Meatball sub
I changed my mind, it's kind of funny John Stossel got slapped.
Unfortunately the results for Dr D David Schultz were not as funny. Professional Wrestling history is filled with What Could Have Beens and What Ifs, but a sneaky one is "What If Dr D David Schultz Never Slapped John Stossel". Dr D was a top heel in WWF right before the boom, and even noted truth teller and all around swell human Hulk Hogan said he was supposed to be in the Wrestlemania 1 Main Event against Hogan and Mr T. Now we should take it with a grain of salt because it's Hulk Hogan, a man I heard someone call " a bald bitch" and an all-around pathological liar. However, it does make sense. Piper and Schultz were aligned and the Stossel Slap was only a few months before Mania, so it seems likely. So one has to wonder what David Schultz's career would look like.
I don't want to dive too into it in this blog, but I love David Schultz as a wrestler. He will be making more appearances on this list where I can cover it more in depth. I kind of just felt like making fun of John Stossel for a while honestly. This squash match is from a 1984 edition of WWF All Star Wrestling. His opponent is Mike Dorsett, and his manager is Roddy Piper making his very first appearance. People complain that Vince McMahon wanted to make Adam a Cole a manager and I just wish to remind them that he tried to do the same with Rowdy Roddy
Time is a flat circle
David Schultz's look has always baffled me. We know he's a tough and crazy son of a bitch, but his personality doesn't gel with his hair. The man became a bounty hunter, but yet looks like he has a perm. It's a contradiction I've never understood. Please don't tell him I ever said that, as I am still afraid he could kick my ass. Mike Dorsett is a classic WWF jobber, a tubby pale guy in a singlet who looks like he did a week at wrestling school and got a jobber job. Schultz takes advantage early and bodyslams Dorsett who lands on his side
You know how wrestlers are trained to do
Schultz suplexes Dorsett so high Dorsett almost overrates and it looks great. Schultz whips Dorsett into the mat and then does a sort of clothesline pull-down which send Dorsett's ass over kettle. A sign of a great jobber is that I can't tell if they're really good at this or really bad, I am now calling it the Mike Dorsett line. Schultz finishes Dorsett with a second rope elbow that looks absolutely brutal. I can't place my finger on it, but the way Schultz delivers an elbow is unlike any I've ever seen.
Solid squash match. Probably only worth viewing for the historical context and to see Schultz's nasty elbow at the end. Its clear WWF had big things scheduled for Dr D, but we'll never find out. All it will be is a what if. I changed my mind, it's hilarious John Stossel got slapped. I think I'm alright saying that though.
After all, it's the free marketplace of ideas
TLDR Review
I don't understand why David Schultz wasn't a bigger star. I don't understand Mike Dorsett. I don't understand libertarianism
If you're interested in more condensed version of my thoughts, You can check out my Twitter where I talk about wrestling or stress out during Boston Celtics games. Hell, I'll even take suggestions for matches you want to see reviewed. You can also check out my Youtube where I make weird videos where I put on wigs in front of a camera to mask my true identity.