Hall of Fame Squash: Bludgeon Brothers ( Luke Harper and Erick Rowan) vs Colin Delaney and Joe Monroe WWE Smackdown 12-12-2017
In the movies, they just take off the ugly girl's glasses and they're pretty.
It's just so simple and cliche that I'm not even going to list examples of films ,you already know all of them. All a woman needs to do in the movie is take off her glasses and va-va-voom all the boys are into her. It's not just women either, there's plenty of movies where an ugly boy becomes a stone cold babe when he switches to contacts. Yes, eventually in the movie you realize beauty is on and inside and all that crap, but still the transformation is too simple. In real life you can't just take off the glasses, you have to look deep to find real beauty. God it's....it's exhausting.
I wish I could just She's All That The Bludgeon Brothers.
Let me be perfectly clear, I think The Bludgeon Brothers were awesome. I loved Luke Harper. I loved Erick Rowan. I loved the team. It's just the name The Bludgeon Brothers is so rough to get through. Bludgeon Brothers sounds like a tag team in one of those 80s NES Wrestling games when they couldn't get an actual liscense. I legitimately think the name is why the team isn't remembered as fondly as they sould be , because in ring they were incredible. It's so rare in WWE to get a consistently pushed Monster Tag Team and the Bludgeon Brothers got a hell of a run.
It's just such a bad name.
My favorite band is the Misfits. if you've ever seen a photo of me that shouldn't surprise you. I'm pale and have black hair, I am legally mandated to love them But if the band wasn't called The Misfits and was called The Jerry Only Bluegrass Experience I would hate them. There are movies I'm sure are great, I will never see because I think the name is stupid. Same with bands, same with shows, same with wrestlers. But right now I need you to rise above those biases. I need you to watch me, The Freddie Prinze Jr of Pro Wrestling, well the other Freddie Prinze Jr of Pro Wrestling, as I take off the Bludgeon Brothers glasses and show you how great they are. I don't know if that analogy tracks. I ran it by a few people to workshop it.
Probably Too Many Rachel Leigh Cooks in the kitchen.
Its December 2017 and we have a live edition of Smackdown where The Bludgeon Brothers will be competing against Joe Monroe and Colin Delaney. Colin is a former WWE ECW superstar, and it's a virtual lock he will make at least one Squash Match Hall of Fame appearance before it's all said and done. Colin and Harper both started their careers together in Upstate New York and developed a close friendship. I'm going to assume that's why Harper is so willing to beat the ever-loving shit out of him. Joe Monroe may be better known to some as Juan Francisco Coronado from Chikara. He was a mainstay in the promotion, but hasn't really worked elsewhere.
Rowan and Colin to start, and Colin looks to be in great shape. If someone didn't tell you who it is, I don't think a lot of people would even recognize him from his ECW days. Rowan hits Delaney with a big dropkick that sends him flying. That's the Delaney I recognize. Brodie tags himself in and slaps Rowan to hype him up before being whipped into the corner to take out Monroe. Rowan splashes Delaney before pushing him out to take that Luke H arper Discuss Lariat. Delaney sells it like death with the full flip bump.
God I love that move
. Rowan decides to turn his attention to Moore and throws him from the floor to the ring via the top rope. Inside the ring, Moore is cornered by the Bludgeon Brothers and delivers a very subtle acting choice to show his fear. Just kidding he hams it the hell up. Real theater Kid energy. I know you're supposed to act for the back row, but Moore acts for the back row of the arena next door. Rowan gets him in a full nelson, before giving him to Harper. Harper and Rowan hit a HUGE ASSISTED POWERBOMB WHILE MOORE SCREAMS IN FEAR. Moore's scream is so high-pitched that he should consider joining a power metal band. I wanted to do a Lost Horizon joke, but I thought not forever about it and didn't think it'd land. You didn't get that joke so I was right. The only thing crazier than the scream is the landing as Moore is destroyed.
Oh yeah , there's still a match going on and he isn't the legal man.
That's poor Colin Delaney who gets caught by The Bludgeon Brothers and absolutely rocked with the T Gimmick double powerbomb. They throw him so high up that I think Rowan almost loses him in the air. Bludgeons get the pin and the win
Hall of Fame Squash .Obviously. As much as I knock the Bludgeon Brothers name, I cannot emphasize enough how great they were in the ring. This is an absolutely brutal squash and props to Moore and Delaney for taking it like champs. This was so much fun. Must watch
Now Kiss me beneath the milky twilight of Joe Moore's crapped pants
TLDR Review
Bludgeon Brothers is a bad name. Harper and Rowan are bad hombres. I'm not actually sure I've actually seen She's All That, I might have just seen Not Another Teen Movie.
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