P.N. News vs. Mike Fever WCW Worldwide 10-05-1991
My rap name was White Rice.
Yeah it's the most embarrassing thing I've talked about on here. I'm dumping this as a Saturday entry because I think it's the day people are on here the least and I'm cringing typing this. It was the early 2000s and Eminem got all of us teenaged white boys feeling ourselves A BIIITTTT too much. So, I created a fake rapper for myself and tried to learn how to freestyle. It did not go great. Well hey I tried...in front of my friends...many...many...many times. Luckily this whole phase probably only lasted six weeks or so, but it makes my spirit leave my body just thinking about it. The worst part is, I would do it at the mall and people heard me do it. There wasn't a lot to do when you were a teenager around here so the mall was the only place to go that wasn't a cranberry bog. Well, people recognized me as "White Rice". It still haunts me. Like I said, it wasn't a long period of time where I thought I would have the ability to rap but it's stuck in my craw.
I can only imagine how PN News feels.
PN News is one of those gimmicks people have been crapping on for a long time. People thought as a wrestler he wasn't good at wrestling and as a rapper he wasn't good as rapping. He had two jobs to do, and he didn't do either well. The former Cannonball Grizzly showed up in WCW for about a year and he is not remembered fondly. I think part of it must be the timing of it all. He shows up in 1991 as the fun rapping babyface. He's slapping hands, saying " Yo Baby Yo Baby Yo" and just being the fun kind of corny. At the same time period, Gangsta Rap is taking off and becoming the dominant strain of hip hop. Maybe PN News got fucked by the timing, with no Vaseline.
I really am not familiar with Mr. News too much, so I'm excited to check this out. He's one of those characters who came and went before my earliest wrestling memories. I've heard of people who hate him and those who defend him and so this will be fun. We are in October 1991 on WCW Worldwide and P.N News is set to take on Mike Fever. First off, P.N News is over. I guess the narrative I had heard was that it was a bad gimmick people didn't like, but based on this crowd that sounds like poppycock. Sorry, was that too strong. Let me try again. Based on this crowd that sounds like a bag of fucking horseshit. His opponent is Mike Fever . I got a fever and the only prescription is more Mike Fever. He is the perfect WCW jobber. Sorta chubby, bad mullet, and wearing a black singlet that somehow enhances his belly. Remember in Terminator 2 when Arnold fights the biker and steal his clothes, Mike Fever looks like that biker 20 years later after years of therapy trying to solve the trauma of that night . PN News is a big boy and you know how I enjoy big boys in wrestling, but have been really disappointed by their squash matches. P.N News overpowers Fever quickly with some shoulder blocks and shoves. PN News hits a big suplex onto Fever and then a really impressive dropkick. Anytime a fat guy leaves his feet an angel gets his Wings....DVD. One of the good seasons before Thomas Haden Church left though. After a trip to resthold city, my least favorite city after Hartford, PN hits a belly to belly suplex. This ain't half bad. PN slams Fever and...uhhhuhhh..... why is PN News climbing the top rope. WHY IS HE CLIMING THE TOP ROPE. FOR A SPLASH OFF THE TOP THATS WHY. HOLY SHIT. That's sooooo goood. PN News gets the win
It's a solid squash, but I love PN News finisher. If you want to sing out sing out. If you're gonna be a fat guy, be a fat guy. His offense was based around dancing and squishing people with his belly, it's everything I ever wanted. I even wrote a rap about it
My name is Ben and I'm hear to say this match with P.N News was really great
Wait
Fuck
TLDR Review
Pn News is a better wrestler than rapper. Mike Fever was built in a lab. Fat Bottom Wrestlers make the Rapping World go Round
If you're interested in more condensed version of my thoughts, You can check out my Twitter where I talk about wrestling or stress out during Boston Celtics games. Hell, I'll even take suggestions for matches you want to see reviewed. You can also check out my Youtube where I make weird videos where I put on wigs in front of a camera to mask my true identity.