The Undertaker vs Dan Robbins WWF Superstars 06-01-1991
Mark Calaway sucks, but The Undertaker rules
It feels kind of silly to try and play the "seperate the art from the artist" game, when the artist is a fictional zombie who puts people in caskets for a living. But, it's a blog about pro wrestling and like Hyman Roth said "This is the business we have chosen". Over the past couple years, The Undertaker has done a lot to damage to his legacy. First there's his performances in the latter end of his career. After years of defying the odds and putting on banger after banger, Undertaker very quickly became a sad shell of himself. There's something to be said about getting out too early as opposed to too late, and The Undertaker got out later than Bob Costas...or Greg Kinnear...or Carson Daly....is this NBC late night joke hitting at all? I should I should have stopped while I was ahead. LIKE THE UNDERTAKER. There is also the Undertaker's recent desire for the spotlight and his turn into HTH, Hunter Thirst Helmsley. Maybe it's because of his self-inflicted commitment to kayfabe over the years, but as soon as he felt he was "done"( no way that's true) , Undertaker did every form of media he could. Documentary, interviews, television, cameos, podcasts, etc. Even Hillbilly Jim thought his Hall of Fame speech went on a bit too long. With that milking of attention for everything it's worth, came issue number three for a lot of people. I don't want to be unfair here so let's try to be kind and just refer to them as his stupid fucking beliefs.
So there, what I think are the main reasons why The Deadman don't give people the warm and fuzzies like he used to. Rightfully so, there has been a real backlash against The Undertaker recently. As you can imagine, I'm right there with a lot of people . I think Taker sucks. The problem is sometimes people become intellectually dishonest about the whole thing. I know, that sounds douchey. I promise this is just about wrestling, I'm not going to discuss men's rights or anything. What I mean is, It's fine to not like The Undertaker anymore, but then it gets to the part where people pretend he sucks and he always sucked and they never liked him.
I call it The Limp Bizkit Effect
People liked Limp Bizkit, but people pretend they never did. People will tell you "Limp Bizkit were always bad, but don't worry because I am so cool and didn't like them like the people who did like Limp Bizkit who were uncool, but not me the cool person". Bullshit. You all know the words to Break Stuff and you recognize that music video was the Avengers: Endgame of early 2000s music. The point being, it's already to just admit that you used to like something to ended up being shitty. We won't judge you for it. It's ok.
Back in 1991, The Undertaker was fresh in WWF and he ruled. The former "Mean" Mark Callous entered WWF as The Undertaker, a presumably supernatural zombie who came to WWF to wreck havoc. On paper, it should have never worked, but credit to Mark Calloway because it became The Greatest Gimmick In Wrestling history. Don't believe me? He's the only one of those "gimmick" wrestlers whos career lasted so long and with actual serious runs at the gold. Obviously a huge part of the act was Paul Bearer. I don't think the gimmick works as well with Paul's contributions. I think I want to dive into that in another entry, but I just wanted to pause and throw that in their real quick. The initial Undertaker run was a bit before by time, but I've heard it said that he had some absolutely brutal squash matches so let's see if that's the case
It's a 1991 edition of WWF Superstars and The Undertaker is facing Dan Robbins. a wimpy who's appearance can only be described as " Second String Defensemen in his Hockey Rec League". Match starts off with The Undertaker delivering a couple blows that send Robbins down. The Undertaker was pro wrestling's Jason Voorhees and as a result everything he did was to be sold like death...pun not intended. The problem with this match is that well, it's slow. It's hard to criticize because The Undertaker is a zombie and I mean 28 days Later wasn't even a gleam in Danny Boyle's eye yet. A looong boring choke followed by a BIG Flying Clothesline by The Undertaker. I forgot That Undertaker would flash his athleticism even back then. That's curtains for Mr. Robbins as Taker has him up for the tombstone. What happens next is ABSOLUTELY INSANE. Undertaker tombstones Robbins SO HARD, His Head bounces back up. I woke my girlfriend up from a nap yelling in horror at the TV. It is absolutely insane. That may be the craziest move I have seen on this blog so far.
This isn't a hall of fame squash, but that finish isn't just Hall of Fame...it's on the Mount Rushmore of Squash move moments. Holy shit, watch the match if you want but you got to watch the finish to this. Poor Dan Robbins had no luck in June 1991
Just one of those days
TLDR Review
I don't like Mark Calloway. I do like The Undertaker. I bet Dan Robbins doesn't like either
If you're interested in more condensed version of my thoughts, You can check out my Twitter where I talk about wrestling or stress out during Boston Celtics games. Hell, I'll even take suggestions for matches you want to see reviewed. You can also check out my Youtube where I make weird videos where I put on wigs in front of a camera to mask my true identity.