Well Dunn vs. Gary Sabaugh & Mike Khoury 11-27-1994
On paper, I should love Well Dunn
They check so many of the boxes of things I love about wrestling. For starters, they wrestled during the WWF New Generation era. It's the best era of wrestling despite what anyone tells you. People will tell me I'm viewing that era through rose colored glasses but the jokes on them because I wear contacts. Also working in Well Dunn's favor is they look absolutely ridiculous. Neon singlets with a thong up their butt that makes them look like extra for the Eric Pryde Call on Me video. Their tag name is a pun, something I've been pretty clear that I love. Well Dunn is an objectively tag duo moniker. That said, while Steven Dunn is a fine name...Timothy Well sounds so wimpy. I think it's really hard for me to get behind a wrestler named Timothy. Timothy Thatcher has done a lot to bring power to the name, but he's fighting an uphill losing battle. Most importantly of all , they're a Southern Heel Tag Team, which I've realized is my favorite kind of tag team. I love two heels who constantly need to cheat, but when it's time to take a comeback they fly around all over the place and look like goofballs. Before they were Well Dunn, they were known as The Southern Rockers for god's sake. I should love them.
On Paper
Look, I haven't see any of their stuff outside of WWE, but I've always been disappointed. I remember WWE randomly buried them a few years ago as a "boring" tag team, and so I wanted to like them. I really did. Maybe I didn't watch the right matches , but I came away very disappointed with the whole thing. We'll put that theory to the test again tonight in this squash match. Yes I know I always say tonight when I type these, even though they go up in the morning. I don't know why man, just leave me alone.
Well Dunn are here on WWF Mania to face off against the legendary team of Gary Sabaugh and Mike Khoury, who you'll remember from their legendary WWF tag title run. Just kidding, its two dudes I've never seen before. Cagematch couldn't confirm their identities so I'm just going by the description on this one. Well Dunn are of course managed by Harvey Whippleman. Harvey is a fascinating character in WWE because he was usually the lower totem pole manager, managing the perennial losers. He had some successes with Sid and Kamala, but I love the idea of the manager of borderline wimpies. Because the jobber are identified, I get to do a fun game called "make up fake names for the jobber". In this case the jobber will be identified by their tights as Italy and Bicycle Short. Well starts off against Italy and gets too cocky for his own good, falling victim to a dropkick and a hiptoss. Bicycle doesn't fare as well as Well gets him in the corner and than hits a cool rope assisted spinning wheel kick. It's pretty unique and a move I'd love to see ripped off. Dunn and in and this is the first chance Well Dunn get to use tandem offense. Tandem offense is such a great part of pro wrestling tag team squashes, so let's see what they come up with. They whip Bicycle into the ropes, and Well leapfrogs and Dunn clotheslines him.
That's it?
To quote the Italy Jobber " That'sa no good".
Their second attempt at tandem offense is a lot better. They both get Bicycle up and use the ropes as a springboard back suplex, opting to flip Bicycle over instead of falling back. Another great unique move. There definitely is potential to Well Dunn when they do cool stuff like that. The problem is it then devolves into boring punch and kick offense, which slows everything down and is just boring. Did I mention how boring it was? Well and Dunn take turns tagging in and out, but instead of tag team offense they fall into a pattern. Do a move to a guy...sorta slowly get up..do a move. No taunting, no character work, just bland offense. Dunn hits a snap suplex before tagging in Well, and their attempt at tag team offense number 3 is....double back elbow. Oh my god kill me this sucks. This is painful, as the match just keeps going.
Well and Dunn are playing a game called "who's shitty offense can piss off Ben more" and they're both winning.
Elbows, dropkicks, legdrops, kneedrops, and none of them delivered with any extra oomph. Bicycle finally gets some offense, before Dunn hits a gnarly German suplex. Well tags in and while Dunn throws Bicycle to him, Well does a belly to belly/flapjack combo onto the ropes that looks neat. It is definitely a cool move if it was executed better.
This sucks. I mean there's no sugarcoating it, this is bad. Well Dunn has some cool moves and maybe if I dig deeper I'll find better matches, but this one has so much about it that I hate. I think being able to find a good Well Dunn squash will be rare.
Get it, Well Dunn?.....Rare?....Fuck you I had to watch this shit give me a break
TLDR Review
Well Dunn didn't do very well. Weird how neither jobber has an Italian name. How are people bad at squashes
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