Zack Ryder vs Rory Fargo (Rory Fox) ECW on Sci-Fi 08-09-2009
I don't want to talk about Ridiculousness.
I just want to talk about MTV True Life for a while. I don't want to complain how they don't play videos, I don't want to do a hacky joke premise of OH MY GOD RIDICULOUSNESS IS ALWAYS ON, I don't wanna wait for my life to be over. I just want to talk about True Life, because it was great
If you don't know what True Life is I don't know if I can explain the lasting impact it's had on my brain for years. Here is a short list of True True Life Stories
In the I Have Embarassing Parents episode, a dad dressed as a Jedi waved his hand in front of an automatic door to simulate opening it with the force. I have done that without fail for 20 years straight
Much like one of the backyard wrestlers in True Life: I'm a Backyard Wrestler, my default response after witnessing an awkward argument between friends is to say " While I had fun tonight"
While in an antique store with my girlfriend, I realized FINALLY someone uploaded True Life I have a Summer Share to YouTube and flipped out in a very inappropriate environment. I apologized and calmed down. I then flipped out when I realized it was ole' Tommy Cheeseballs who uploaded it himself. I did not apologize a second time. It was a justified reaction, GIVE THAT MAN HIS FLOWERS/FRIGGIN CHEESEBALLS
Once while waiting for a limo driver to pick me up for a wedding, I told him I would gut him like a fucking fish while my girlfriend got a period in her wedding dress.
Ok the last one is a lie, but the rest are facts just like I tell you that I have never watched an episode more that MTV True Life: I'm a Pro Wrestler. There's too much great stuff in the episode to limit to just my squash match blog, so let's just say it has a lasting place as a piece of wrestling nerd fandom. Nobody represents that better than today's wimpy, "Rapid Delivery" Rory Fox.
He isn't even in the show that much, hell HHH and Chyna have whole segments dedicated to the, but nobody remembered them as fondly as Rapid Delivery. Maybe it's the name or the weird gimmick he got, but if you were asked to name a wrestler from True Life for most people it's gonna be Rory Fox. You can never guess what sticks in people's brains ( as shown by the multiple stories I told earlier), but something about him caused people to remember him.
That and this match where his ass fell out.
This is a rare squash match that requires some context to understand what's going on, but let's dive into what's going on first.
Tonight Rory Fox is Rory Fargo and he's Wrestling Zack Ryder on WWE ECW. This is early on in the Ryder gimmick when he was pro wrestling's Tommy Cheeseballs, just mouthy and starting trouble. This is even before the Z True Long Island Story, when he was just the dude with one legend tights and a banger theme song. As much as I'm a Ryder fan, this is a pretty basic squash for the first few minutes with nothing to write home about. I've realized watching this that "choke the guy on the ropes with your knee" spot is my least favorite squash match spot. Not to go full Whiplash, but not my tempo.
It's set up to be a disappointing match, but then Zack Ryder pulls Rory into the buckle and the camera mysteriously won't show Rory for a few minutes, focusing only on Ryder delivering the move. I know WWE camera work is bad, but surely it can't be that bad.
This has been discussed a lot on The Major Wrestling Podcast and Talk N Shop and other places but indulge me . Zack pulls Rory into the turnbuckle and then we enter a Professional Wrestling Rashomon situation. Rory says Zack pulled too hard, Zack says Rory's gear is too cheap. Regardless of why it happened Rory's tights explode and he's basically holding his external genitalia in for the rest of the match.
Luckily this is a taped show so they could edit around it, but I watched this thing like the Zapruder film and the biggest evidence something went amiss is the crowd. You can clearly hear someone laughing and then when Ryder hits his finish you hear some noise that is either
WWE sweetening
or
People reacting with awkward horror when Rory's butt is exposed to them
Plus look at Rory when he's pinned, the poor guy is clearly holding everything in so it isn't exposed
This isn't a great squash and WWE edited enough of it where you have to really look for the evidence of it, but its worth watching just to say you did.. I am happy Rory has gotten a revitalization from all this and he's now known as the True Life Guy AND The Ripped Tights guy. I legitimately hope he rides his infamy for all it's worth.
Also because Tony Atlas needs a new shoot match opponent
TLDR Review
MTV True Life was a good show,. This squash was silly. The dream match with Matt Taglia is still out there
If you're interested in more condensed version of my thoughts, You can check out my Twitter where I talk about wrestling or stress out during Boston Celtics games. Hell, I'll even take suggestions for matches you want to see reviewed. You can also check out my Youtube where I make weird videos where I put on wigs in front of a camera to mask my true identity.