Monday, June 13, 2022

"Dr. Death" Steve Williams Vs. The Hardy Boyz WWF Sunday Night Heat 03-21-1999

"Dr. Death" Steve Williams Vs. The Hardy Boyz  WWE Sunday Night Heat 03-21-1999

It's a miracle I've never been knocked out

I went through my adolescence when Jackass was the most popular show on television.  I should have cracked my head on the pavement trying to jump between shopping carts. I lived in the glory days of nu-metal.  I should have smashed my head into the wall by accident while listening to System of a Down. Nevertheless, my brain remained  somehow CTE free all through my teenage years. That's just the first half of my life, how did I make it the rest of it without brain damage. I've met me. I know how mouthy I can get and yet still nobody has ever taken a swing at me. A minor miracle. I've never been in a bar fight and I don't plan on ever being in one, unless Ballroom Blitz plays. If Ballroom Blitz plays in a bar I'm in then when the man in the back says everyone attack I will take those words literally. I'm not afraid of getting in a fight, it just hasn't happened. It's one of those things I've always wondered about. Could I handle myself? What's being knocked out like? I'm pretty sure I'd handle it well

And then I watch a clip of Bart Gunn knocking out Steve Williams and the reality of my cowardice sets in
"Dr Death" Steve Williams came in ready for the main event push he hadn't received in America. He was brought in with much fanfare by Jim Ross as a potential future Stone Cold opponent. I may be messing the timeline up, but WWE creative wanted to heat Dr Death up really quick. Steve Williams had never been in WWE, and he had rarely been on American television during the 90s.  They needed something that would give him instant credibility, and they figured the Brawl for All was the perfect opportunity..  Brawl for All was a toughman contest with various members of the WWE roster. A hybrid between boxing, wrestling, and swinging recklessly at your opponent.  WWE would pause their fake programming a couple times a night and  all of a sudden become very real. There was to be nothing fake about Brawl for All. Before it started it was a forgone conclusion that "Dr Death" would win. He was a tough, tough son of a bitch and it seemed like a cakewalk. His first round opponent was a guy with one eye, so don't let anyone tell you WWE wasn't pulling for Doc.  But, do you remember the fable of what happened when Icarus flew too close to the sun? 

Bart Gunn knocked him the fuck out

 Not only did he knock Dr Death out, he knocked him out so spectacularly that Doctor Death suffered major injuries. In a matter of seconds, the dream of the Dr Death WWF main event run was dead. Who knows what would have happened in Dr Death doesn't get knocked out that night. Does he get that main event run? Was he doomed either way? The best part of hypothetical questions is you can pretend you know the actual answer. So when people tell you what would or wouldn't have happened with Dr Death, you can tell em to piss off. Nobody knows nothing about anything. Personally, I don't think Dr Death would have made it much higher than he did. I just don't think he fit in the attitude era.  But, I'm an idiot with a blog about squash matches so my word isn't exactly gospel. Ben 3:16 says the Wimpies shall inherit the earth.

Let's see if we can all inherit something greater folks, the spirit of one-sided compeition as it's Wimpy match time. Let's travel back to March of 1999 and an edition of Sunday Night Heat for our next contest. Dr Death only wrestled three televised matches in his WWE run and this is the first one. They had begun their attempt to rehab the good Doctor, and when all else fails have him kill a pair of wimpies. These Wimpies are Matt and Jeff Wimpy, I mean Hardy.  They were a staple of the wimpy scene in the mid to late 90s and god bless those kids because they could take an asskicking. Before the match we get a preview of Brawl for All winner Bart Gunn's upcoming "fight" with Butterbean.  We may cover that in a special entry, still unclear at this moment. Williams is accompanined to the ring by Jim Ross, who WWE was attempting to turn heel because him and Vince have a weird tense relationship. The Hardy Boyz are already in the ring in their gear that launched a thousand Young Bucks looks. This is the good kind of handicap match where you don't have to tag in so The Hardys rush Dr Death.  They get Dr Death in the corner and POETRY IN MOTION BUT DR DEATH CATCHES JEFF LIKE HE WAS NOTHING. He tosses Jeff up and across the ring in a vulgar display of power. Matt turns around and is met by a running clothesline from Doc.  Doc then grab Jeff and press slams him above his head and onto Matt.  Jeff recovers and ducks a clothesline, but Doc ducks a kick and a big German Suplex to Jeff.  Matt comes off the top with a crossbody but Doctor Death catches him and turns it into an Oklahoma Stampede for the win. JR is so certain of victory he's on his way into the ring before the ref even starts the count

This was very quick and very fun, and while I am skeptical of this idea that Brawl for All killed Steve Williams as a top guy....I am intrigued by what could have been. Look this was on a throwaway episode of Sunday Night Heat, imagine if this was on RAW in front of a much hotter crowd. I think they could have had a little bit more with Dr Death if he was just given permission to kill wimpies.  But WWE had a different idea in mind. WWE basically thought, you know what

Fuck Dr Death

TLDR Review
Jeff Hardys taking dumb bumps since 1999. Dr Death's carrer what if is an all timer. I'm so glad nobodys mama said to knock me out

If you're interested in more condensed version of my thoughts,  You can check out my  Twitter  where I talk about wrestling or stress out during Boston Celtics games. Hell, I'll even take suggestions for matches you want to see reviewed.  You can also check out my Youtube where I make weird videos where I put on wigs in front of a camera to mask my true identity.