Gangrel vs. Mike Hollow WWF Shotgun Saturday Night 01-09-1999
I've never been a vampire guy
Just not for me man. Nothing against our vampiric brethren, but they've never done it for me. As a child I was scared of a lot of stuff, but rarely vampires. I say rarely vampires because my anxiety won't eliminate the possibility of a total lack of fear. I think to myself that vampires aren't real and then I think, well wouldn't it be just the worst if a vampire heard you say that and then you got bit by a vampire. I know they need to be let in, but grandma's getting up there so maybe she met one at the store. Better check the locks again just to be safe. Repeat until sunrise. As a whole though, I am just pretty meh on the vampiric experience. I'm a Universal Monsters fan ,but Dracula has always been way down on the list. How can you be into Dracula when Wolfman and The Creature from the Black Lagoon are right there. I like the standard vampire movies everyone does. Near Dark, Fright Night, Cirque De Freak: The Vampire's Assistant. You know, all the classics. I just find myself unremarked by them.
Which is why I never appreciated how ballsy it was to drop a Vampire into the Attitude Era.
The Attitude era is of course the rose-colored glasses from which so many wrestling fans view the world. The time when wrestling stopped being polite and started getting real. PUCK VS PEDRO INSIDE THE SIXTEEN FOOT HIGH STEEL CAGE. It was praised and criticized for it's realistic take on the world of pro wrestling. It touched so many topics intricate in our lives. Conflict, Romance, Family Turmoil , a Blond Vampire in The Pirate Shirt from Seinfeld. Yes during the "realistic" time of wrestling is when we saw what may be the first wrestling vampire. I didn't do any research on this, but I'm a millennial so people are gonna shit on me and tell me I'm wrong anyways. IM GLAD APPLEBEES IS DYING, THEIR BURGERS ARE TRASH. Gangrel arrived in the WWE as a fully formed gimmick. I could be wrong, FUCK APPLEBEES, but I don't remember vignettes of any sort. I just tuned into WWE one day and there was a fucking Vampire. I never stopped to pause and think about the logistics of what a hassle being a professional wrestling vampire would be. The headache of scheduling your travel to only take place at night alone would be a nightmare. Yet somehow, WWE took this incredibly silly gimmick and it worked. I didn't even bat an eye about Gangrel in WWE, until I started writing this. He's one of those guys that casual fans remember so fondly. Somehow in all the chaos of the Attitude era, even the nonsensical made sense. And nothing makes sense less than a Wrestling Vampire
Well other than a Vince Russo storyline.
We're going to party like it's 1999 and its Shotgun Saturday Night which for Gangrel means it's a vampire weekend. Tonight the fearsome fanged fighter will be taking on the wimpy known as Mike Hollow. I think what is most notable about Mike is his role after wrestling. He became one of the trainers of Chaotic Wrestling in New England and helped train guys like Ciampa, Kofi Kingston, Damien Sandow, and many many more. Tonight though, he's just a lamb being led to slaughter as he faces
I must stress this again...
A WRESTLING VAMPIRE
Gangrel gets his absolutely legendary entrance. Top 10 all time. He's got the goblet, he's got the blood, he has the regrettable shirt. Seriously, was nobody watching Seinfeld? On commentary we have Bruce Prichard making a rare appearance on WWE Television. Some people wish he would make rare appearances in back of WWE Television as well.
Me
I'm one of those people
It's just...well you know....he sucks at it. Mike Hollow is a respectable, classy wimpy. He's in shape and has multicolored tights. That's all I can ask for really. Hollow goes after Gangrel who lays it in with some nice forearms to the back. I've criticized that move as lazy before, but I figured out the secret to the great back forearm. If you can hit the guy so hard enough that I hear it, then it's a great back forearm. Don't wimp out. Gangrel whips Hollow to the ropes, who ducks a pair of clotheslines before a BIG CROSSBODY. He got a lot of airtime, and it looked stupid as hell but I dug it. He did a top rope crossbody style crossbody without being on the top rope. I'm assuming that he's called Mike Hollow because his hollow bones allow him to fly. Hollow tries to keep momentum going with a hiptoss, but Gangrel counters with a really nice modified suplex. I don't know what type it is, so from now on I'm going to refer to those as modified. I'm going to do it with everything I don't know. My solution to fix the economy? Modify it. While Gangrel resorts to some boring offense in the corner, punches kicks and a corner clothesline, let me talk about commentary, Bruce Prichard is trash at commentary right now. Now back to the action. Uh-oh more kicking. For the last minute Gangrel has been an actual vampire, because that offense sucks. Lukcily Gangrel heard me, because he gets Mike Hollow up with a BIG BACKBODY DROP. I said my Hollow bones thing as a joke, but now I actually suspect Mike Hollow may have bird bones. Gangrel with a nice suplex that he rolls through into a pin. Hollow gets one more comeback comprised of some weak punches, before Gangrel calls it a night and finishes him off with the Implant DDT. An underrated great finisher
It is what it is, and what it is is fine. It's just fine. Like most Vampire content, I didn't hate it but I didn't love it. Gangrel is definitely a dude I'm intrigued to view again on the blog, as I think he has more to show than he did here. Hollow stood out for the ups he got on the crossbody and the backbody drop. Mike Hollow Earth? Is that something? It isn't. Shit. Anyways, it's a skippable match but fun if you want to mindfuck yourself into how weird a wrestling vampire is.
Shockingly not that weird anymore
TLDR Review
I'm not a vampire guy. I'm kind of a Gangrel guy. I really wished I worked in a White Wolf Inc joke.
If you're interested in more condensed version of my thoughts, You can check out my Twitter where I talk about wrestling or stress out during Boston Celtics games. Hell, I'll even take suggestions for matches you want to see reviewed. You can also check out my Youtube where I make weird videos where I put on wigs in front of a camera to mask my true identity.