John Nord vs Adrian Byrd WCW Worldwide 03-07-1998
I never thought I would have much in common with Bigfoot Hunters
I mean, I assume we would have some similarities. We would both be carbon based lifeforms that breathed air. We would both either have or had previously had hair. We would both believe in Bigfoot. By that I mean of course the monster truck. What I didn't expect to share in common with Bigfoot hunters, was a fanatical devotion to a single goal. Bigfoot Hunters swear they have seen Bigfoot, and they are going to stick to that story.. In face of overwhelming doubt, Bigfoot Hunters believe in their heart of hearts that what they are doing is legitimate. That they know what they've seen in the Pacific Northwest, is real and is true and one day they will be proven right. Maybe I find it so admirable because they are not alone. I too have a quest I take on in spite of overwhelming evidence. I will not be deterred, I will stay the course and one day be proven right.
Because I swear to god John Nord has a banger WCW match
I've seen it. I swear to god I seen it. Don't look at me like that. You know what I mean. Like how Jim looks at Pam when she says she saw the DVD display go into the corner of the screen. I SAW IT JIM. I don't remember when but I know . For an old blog of mine the writers would do something called Midnight Rider Society. We would each find a match we thought was interesting and write a little blurb about it. Emphasis on little. This was before my method of writing could be compared to the delusional ramblings of The Unabomber except instead of being against technology I am against rest holds. At some point, I found a John Nord match that slaps. Are the kids still saying that these days? I've never been able to find it again. I don't know what year it's from, what show its on, or who his opponent is. All I know is it a John Nord match in WCW and it fuuuuckkkksssss. I SAW IT JIM. So now here I am, the Don Quixote of questionable wrestling writing content .My impossible dream is to find that John Nord WCW match and bring it to the matches. That quest begins now.
I don't know what the windmills in this metaphor are. Intolerance? Whenever I can't figure out the metaphor I just assume its intolerance.
It's 1998 and we're back for another rousing edition of WCW Worldwide as John Nord will be taking on Adrian Byrd. I spent so much time earlier waxing poetically about Bigfoot and the Man of La Mancha that I never even really talked about John Nord the wrestler. John Nord is the former Berzerker. I think for most of us, we know John Nord as essentially playing larger than life crazy lunatics. Based on what I know about John Nord, that's not probably too far off from the real Nord. He disappeared from mainstream American wrestling for a few years, before showing up in WCW completely unrecognizable. Gone was the long locks and beard. Instead, we get this beach blond behemoth. I couldn't believe my eyes when I found out this was The Berzerker.
John Nord out first for this match and I quickly deduced that he's a heel. I can tell because he's wearing sunglasses indoors. Nord also had this thing of wearing different white screen printed shirts to the ring every week. WCW wasn't rushing to make John Nord merch, so he made his own. This one says YOU SET EM UP on and the front and I'LL KNOCK EM DOWN. on the back .Of course this being WCW, it takes a long time until you see the back of the shirt. So for a while there I suspected John Nord had a matchmaker gimmick. During his entrance Nord let's the camera know "I'm the guy that lies awake at night, just thinking of ways to mess the NWO up", in quite possibly the thickest Minnesotan accent I've ever heard n my life. Nord, clearly knows where the money is so of course he's going to shoot his own angles on WCW syndication. Nord's opponent tonight is Adrien Byrd, a WCW power plant guy. Like all power plant guys, Byrd is in incredible shape. What he lacks for in height he makes up in width as he's a travel sized muscle man. It's possible he isn't that short , but compared to John Nord he looks like a child. Jesus is Nord a big sumbitch.
The match underway and let's see if I find the John Nord banger on the first try. They lock up and Nord grabs a wristlock before working Byrd into the corner for a nice chop. Byrd ducks a clothesline and tries to shoulder block Nord, but it doesn't work. He tries again, and fails again. Is the third time the charm?
No
Nord boots him in the face. Nord is really showing a lot of personality as he jaw jacks with the fans. It took me a while to figure out who he reminded me of until it suddenly dawned on me. He's pro wrestling Pete Weber. Did I just compared a wrestler to a bowler?
THAT IS RIGHT I DID IT
Lackluster lariat by Nord to Byrd and then Nord starts dropping elbow. Then another elbow. Then another elbow. Then another elbow. Then another elbow. The mid 2000s Judd Apatow comedy bit version of elbows. Just do it constantly until it sucks but then you do it so long that it becomes it's awesome. Nord with a gut wrench suplex drop, but he can't take full advantage as Byrd makes the standard wimpy comeback. He throws bunches of punches at Nord's chest which looks....it looks silly. Nord evades an Irish whip and counters with his own, but Byrd counters the counter and goes for a sunset flip. Nord is teetering. Nord is tottering. NORD IS GONNNA....Nahhh he just stomps Byrd in the face and breaks the hold. That's a great counter. Nord gets Byrd up for a fireman carry, but he can't carry Byrd as poor John Nord stumbles and has to drop Byrd between the ropes and send him to the outside. Nord was doing so good before that. Nord follows Byrd to the outside and knows he has to recover from the obvious botch so he drops Byrd onto the hard platform. The WCW syndicated shows had their ring on a circular platform, and I don't know what it was made of but it made a horrifying thud anytime someone got dropped or slammed on it. Good recovery by Nord. He rolls Byrd into the ring and locks in a modified camel clutch for the win. It's modified because it looks like he's doing the Kona Crush mixed with the camel clutch. Kona Crush Camel Clutch.
This was solid, but I don't know if you need to check it out unless you're a Nord completionist. No way that actually exists. I might become one after this because I kind of love this shitty dad version of John Nord. He walks the fine line between being totally lame and totally rad. I didn't get to see enough from Byrd to make a judgement, but props on him for taking that stiff slam to the outside. Is this the John Nord banger I'm looking for. No. I'm sorry Mario, but the princess is in another castle.
John Nord set this up, but before the end of this project I will knock them down and find that match
TLDR Review
I can't figure out if Nord is cool or uncool. I can't figure out if Adrian Byrd is good. I can't figure it out because BILLY THE ANSWER HEAD FUCKED MY WIFE AND HES GONNA BE BILLY THE ANSWER DEAD WHEN IM DONE WITH HIM
If you're interested in more condensed version of my thoughts, You can check out my Twitter where I talk about wrestling or stress out during Boston Celtics games. Hell, I'll even take suggestions for matches you want to see reviewed. You can also check out my Youtube where I make weird videos where I put on wigs in front of a camera to mask my true identity.