Johnny Spade vs Leviathan (Batista) OVW 08-26-2000
Anyone who says they could have predicted where Batista's career would have ended up is full of shit
If you had asked me the odds in the 2000s that Batista would end up in a movie where he played Jodie Foster's sidekick, I would have assumed John Hinckley kidnapped her and forced her to make it at gunpoint. Nobody saw it coming, and I think it's because how he looked. It's not fair, but we perceive muscle guys in wrestling all the same. They've got jacked bodies, and not much else. We don't see what's inside the muscle boys. One paragraph in and this is already getting accidently horny. What I mean is, muscle guys in wrestling are rarely viewed as three dimensional human beings. A lot of that is the portrayal. There are hundreds of big, jacked up wrestlers whos whole gimmick was big jacked up wrestler. Hard to find pathos with that gimmick. Even Hercules, of Greek mythology, had to go through his trials. Hercules the wrestler didn't have to do shit. He just had to carry around a chain to symbolize he was strong for some reason. Batista is the exception not the rule, because Batista didn't settle. He developed a unique skillset and showed a different personality than we were used to seeing. Batista developed great mic skills. Batista developed great characterization. I can go on and on, great summarizations. Great conclusions. My English Teacher would be smiling ,but I'm tired and I want to go to the diner. So let's just say this, Batista developed into a hell of an all-around wrestler. Nobody could have seen that coming, especially in the year 2000
If you didn't read that in the Conan O'Brien bit voice that I'm not entirely sure we could be friends. Acquaintances maybe, but we'll never be super close.
Before he was ever 'The Animal', heck before he was ever a Deacon, He was Leviathan . A monster gimmick created by Jim Cornette to fight the monsters of the world, Leviathan is the standard green muscle guy gimmick. Wrestling history is littered with green muscle boys given the gimmick of unstoppable wrecking machines to cover up for their lack of experience. Boy, Howdy did Batista lack experience...I mean that's why he was in Ohio Valley Wrestling in the first place. OVW was the original WWE developmental territory and Batista was part of the original crew of guys. I make fun of OVW a lot, just wait until we actually cover the match, but it's hard to argue with their original track record. Batista, Randy Orton, Brock Lesnar, and John Cena were all parts of the early runs of OVW and that is a murderer's row. I'm assuming because he was the least ready of the four , Batista was given the gimmick of Leviathan. He was The Demon of the Deep and part of the Disciples of Synn, a group of evil wrestlers managed by Cornette's wife. Her name was Synn. What a creative genius. Leviathan decimated his opponents and was the OVW monster, because every wrestling company needs an unstoppable monster. I'm not kidding, this is something I actually believe. We need more monsters in wrestling. Then we need a cross promotional battle. A Monster Mash if you will. But Ben, it's June and that song is only relevant in October
Bullshit, Monster Mash is year round
So let's head down to OVW round the year 2000 as we get our first glimpse of Leviathan as he takes on Johnny Spade. We join the action with Synn already in the ring and Voodoo by Godsmack playing. I immediately get flashbacks to MTV's Fear. I immediately realize I am old. Synn does some incantation to summon Leviathan to the wrong. I would like to say she's channeling Bruce Campbell in Army of Darkness, but she's really channeling one of the skeletons from that movie. Because her delivery is dead. Oh my god it's cringe. The camera doesn't even show Leviathan's face for a while, just the back of his bald head and his massive back This is maybe the most jacked Batista ever was, and HES GOT A CHAIN AROUND HIS NECK. WHY DOES EVERY WRESTLER WHOS STRONG NEED SOME SORT OF CHAIN. Leviathan's opponent tonight is Johnny Spade, who I know little about other than he was an OVW trainee. Apparently his gimmick is "Pretty Fly", and given his tank top and pants I assume he's doing a topical white rapper gimmick. I bet that aged great. Leviathan hops over the top rope and Spade attacks him with punches in bunches. WITH ONE ARM, Leviathan tosses Spade into the corner. Then, with ONE ARM Leviathan tosses Spade again. Cornette on commentary is so bad. He isn't taking a breath and just overreacting to every move. Like, Leviathan is doing ok stuff, but Cornette is acting like it's the craziest thing he's ever seen. He's the Soccer commentator from that episode of The Simpsons. CENTER HOLDS IT. HOLDS IT. HOLDS IT. Leviathan hits Spade with a clothesline who does an unnecessary flip bump.
I need you to realize how bad a flip has to look for me to hate it.
Leviathan hits a full nelson drop. As in, he had him in a full nelson and then dropped him on his butt. Cornette's gonna have an aneurysm if he doesn't take a breather. Leviathan hits a very nice dominator and hooks the leg for the win. Hey ,he's a monster from the depths of hell, but he's still gotta hook the leg bro. After the match Leviathan continues the assault while some babyfaces attempt to make the save. Randy Orton and Shelton Benjamin of all people comprise the babyface brigade, but Leviathan compromised them to a permanent end. Then, I am not fucking kidding, Flash Flanagan comes out with a torch and scares Leviathan off. I'm going to repeat that because it bears repeating.
Don't let Cornette ever lecture you about booking
Honestly, this is so bad it's good and it's not because of Leviathan. The match itself is meh, but it isn't actively bad. The commentary and the presentation is so stupid and so anti everything Jim Cornette has ever said, that that's probably the best reason to watch. You can see Dean Hill is on commentary with Jim too, but Cornette is the only one who talks. And Talks. And Talks. Check this out if you wanna see goofy goofy shit. Cornette's out hear whining about Danhausen when he's got a guy scaring another wrestling with fire. Fuck outta here. Anyways, rant over. If this clip makes anything more crystal, other than one guy's hypocrisy, it's that Batista came a far longer way than I realized before. It's one thing for Batista to become a mainstream movie star, but Leviathan is a miracle.
Flash Flanagan comes out with a torch and scares Leviathan off.
That's not an error, I just wanted to remind you that stupid shit happened one more time
TLDR Review
Cornette is Corny. Leviathan is Large. Batista has a dick of questionable size.
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