The Skyscrapers (Sid Vicious & Dan Spivey) vs NWA World Wide The Ding Dongs 08-26-1989
Positive Mental Attitude is a load of horseshit
Can you tell I watched the George Carlin documentary recently? There are only seven words you can't say in this blog. Jerry Lynn is the Best Wrestler Ever. Look, I don't think people should live their life in negativity. There isn't anything wrong with trying to put a positive spin on things. There isn't anything wrong with looking at the glass as half full. The problem I have is when people try to say the glass is half full when the glass is full of shit. It's a shit glass. It's half full of shit. Sometimes things just aren't good and it's ok to say something sucked. As long as you aren't too big a jerk about it. You can be a little jerk about it, like a Mickey Rooney level of jerk. Not in personality, but in size. I went through this whole spiel to get to this point.
God is it satisfying when everyone else realizes something sucks.
It's the fucking best, it really is. Not to be a I Hate Stuff Hipster, but there is something just so beautiful when people figured out something you think sucks, actually sucks. My personal example of this is Ricky Gervais. For a long time, I felt like a lone voice in the wilderness pointing out that he sucked. People would tell me he was funny, but I just never saw it. I thought he sucked. His movies were constantly in rotation on the Campus Movie Channels in college, and I couldn't make it through them. Because they sucked. I have as much problems with organized religion as anyone, but even I was like ok Ricky we get it you're an atheist. I almost want to believe in God just to spite him. I'm a bit cheeky like that. In the first draft of this blog I actually typed multiple paragraphs about why I dislike Ricky Gervais, but this is a wrestling blog. For my thoughts on reasons I don't like Ricky Gervais go to my other blog " At a Medium Gervais". ( spoiler It's because he sucks) The point of all this rambling is, finally other people think he sucks. I feel vindicated. I feel like finally people are listening to me. I feel validated. I feel seen.
I feel 1/100th of what WCW fans must have felt this night.
Great men than I with more time on their hands have discussed ad nauseum about Jim Herd's WCW. I've never seen an ad for nauseum in my life. Sorry, George Carlin again. Jim Herd took over leadership of WCW and proceeded to run the creative end into the ground. From a business aspect, Herd made a lot of positive changes. The problem was creatively he was more bankrupt than every time I played Monopoly with my dad. Technically my dad never won a game of Monopoly because I would rage quit every time. He got too much glee out of stealing his kids fake money. The Ding Dongs were a perfect example of Herd's creative, or lack of, vision. I'm sourcing this off Wikipedia, so its 100 percent true, but Herd had the idea they needed a family friendly tag team for the kids. That's Good. He decided to call them The Ding Dongs. That's bad. He decided they should wear colorful outfits. That's Good. The outfits are covered in bells. That's Bad. The Bells are covered in Potassium Benzoate.......
.....
That's Bad
The Ding Dongs debuted in 1989 at Clash of the Champions and people haaaaateeeedd them. They never even stood a chance. On the live broadcast, the fans were already rebelling against it. They hated it. That was only in June of 1989, but by August the decision was made that The Ding Dong experiment had failed. Props to WCW for making the decision instead of doubling down on it like I don't know.... the last decades of WWE. You can argue this idea was terrible and never should have happened in the first place, but I'm disregarding my own advice and looking at the glass as hall full of shit. The Ding Dongs would not simply be written off TV though. The fans wanted vengeance. They wanted blood.
They wanted a sacrifice.
We are in August of 1989, a mere two months after The Ding Dongs debuted. It's NWA Worldwide and The Ding Dongs are facing off against The Skyscrapers of Dan Spivey and Sid Vicious. We've already seen both men on this blog, and separately they are two of the best squash match wrestlers of all time. On his own Sid might be the greatest squash match wrestler of all time, but let's not discount Dan Spivey. Both these men will become fixtures of this blog, but on this night they represent something more. They represent the voice of the people, the proletariat of the lariat. The Bernie Sanders of Suplexes. You get the idea. People wanted a change and Sid and Dan are going to give it to them. The Ding Dongs are already in the ring, and their outfits are somehow uglier than I remember.
Burl Ives would have never sang Silver and Gold if he saw that shit.
The Skyscrapers are out accompanied by Norman the Lunatic and Teddy Long and man are they just so cool. I don't know what the entrance music is, but it's definitely the sound you hear before someone murders you. It's that song and Keith Morrison talking about how you lit up a room. Skyscrapers all over The Ding Dongs right away. Let me rephrase, Dan Spivey has already kicked both their asses before Sid had taken off his chaps. How does one distinguish the ding dongs. They're about to die, so I don't know I'll call one Ding and one Dong. Ding Dong Man, Ding Dong. Spivey takes Ding and gives him a Razor's edge followed by a big boot. Spivey then hits a powerbomb and....wins? That's it? Sid didn't even do anything. I WANTED A SACRIFICE DAMMNIT. Well, that was disapp....oh wait they aren't done. Sid comes in and clotheslines the fuck out of Dong. The camera misses some Sid offense, but it doesn't miss The Skyscrapers unmasking the Ding Dongs and killing the gimmick right there. Ding Dong the Ding Dongs are Dead. Norman the Lunatic takes the masks as trophies as the segment ends
Talk about an all time burial. This is a disappointing squash because I assumed they were going to almost literally kill the Ding Dongs. It had to still be satisfying for NWA fans at the time because this is the last Ding Dongs appearance. Not only did they lose, they got unmasked and humiliated. It's hard to not feel disappointed Sid only did one thing, but we got plenty of Sid Vicious content to watch.
And miles to go before we sleep
Didn't see the Robert Frost reference coming did ya
TLDR Review
Disappointed in the lack of Sid. Disappointed in the lack of sacrifice. Disappointed someone keeps shitting in my cups
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