Hall of Fame Squash: Jerry "The King" Lawler vs Al Jackson WWF Superstars 03-23-1996
I'm enthralled by people who are good at talking smack.
Before we get too into the weeds, we need to quickly define the difference between talking trash and talking smack. Trash talk is all hypothetical, like "Your mama's so fat, she could eat the Internet". But smack talk is happening like right now. Like, "You're ugly and I know it for a fact cause I got the evidence right there". I'm ok at talking smack and /or trash, but there are times I suffer from what I refer to as Shooter McGavin syndrome. That's the Happy Gilmore villain inspired condition which leads to periods of time where insults are easily turned on me to make me look foolish as I try to stammer a retort. Side effects may also include lupus. I've always loved hearing stories of people who were great at talking smack. There are a lot of people who talk trash before an event, but how many of them are great at talking smack DURING an event. I know Connor McGregor is great at hyping an event up, but how often does the camera catch him mocking his opponent during the actual fight. It's a rare skill I've spent hours of my life watching compilations of stories of Larry Bird humiliating players DURING THE GAME by talking smack and delivering. Surprisingly, there isn't a lot of it in pro wrestling. There are a lot of guys who cut great promos, but it's rare for guys to talk trash during their matches. I suspect it's so the camera doesn't catch them calling spots, but that sounds like cowardice to me. There are a handful of guys I can think of who excelled at it. Mark Henry, Roman Reigns, Chris Hero this one time I saw him wrestle Jerry Lynn.
And at least for this one match, Jerry Lawler takes the crown.
Like a lot of New Generation kids, the best generation, suck a butt "greatest generation", Jerry Lawler will always be a heel announcer to me. Yes, I am aware of his legacy and accomplishments in pro wrestling but my first thoughts are always of the mid 1990s Lawler who was just such a little shit. He was the first heel announcer I vehemently hated. I mean, he feuded with Bret Hart. Fuck that guy. Lawler did more commentary than he did wrestling, so whenever he got in the ring it was imperative for me as a fan that his opponent kick the shit out of him. Lawler fit surprisingly well into the family-friendly 90s WWF. He was the definition of a great chickenshit heel. There was nothing about him that was likeable. Instead of trying to be cool and "own dudes on the mic", he told corny ass jokes that got him even more heat with how unfunny they were. He was so great as a combination wrestler/announcer who would feud with a handful of guys a year and always end up humiliated. He never received a serious push, but he didn't need to as you could make the case he had the most heat in the whole company . He never had to step in the ring, all he had to do is run his mouth
And run his mouth he did, especially in this match from a March of 1996 WWF Superstars that sees Jerry Lawler take on Al Jackson. Lawler is out first in his delightfully horrific black ensemble complete with his cocked to the side crown. He looks like such a dickhead, love it. Lawler has the mic in his hand the whole way down the aisle and announces he is going to do live commentary on this whole match. Hell yeah. He's such a little asshole here, even ordering the referee to help him when he can't get his own jacket off. Lawler has a mullet right? I think it barely qualifies. I know it's business in the front, but it's more of a dinner party in the back. Lawler's opponent tonight is Al Jackson who I can't believe is a wimpy. He's bigger than Lawler, he's jacked, he's got a singlet with actual designs, and spoiler alert he's pretty solidi in the ring. I think Jackson is a Texan independent wrestler, but there's a pretty solid chance there were multiple Al Jacksons in 'rasslin. If I am mistaken, I'm sorry Mr. Jackson.
I want to assure you I am for real.
Lawler actually interviews Jackson before the match which leads to the convenient elevationveal that Jackson is from where the show is tonight. WHOA! Jackson reveals he's a boxer with a bunch of knockouts and Lawler sells it like he's super impressed. They go to shake hands and LAWLER IMMEDIATELY KICKS HIM IN THE GUT. I wish it was culturally acceptable to do that more often. Get a job offer at the interview through fear. Lawler throws his classic punches before "introducing Al to Mr. Turnbuckle". Please, Mr. Turnbuckle is my father's name. Lawler grabs a headlock and mocks Al's hair, before Al pushes him into the corner. Lawler is great here as he panics and calls for the referee to make a clean break. I love how quickly his confidence is erased when he loses control. Jerry "The Frontrunner" Lawler. Now Jackson has a headlock and Lawler is screaming. Lawler finally gets advantage with a headscissors on the mat and immediately begins talking shit about Al Jackson's parents. Lawler is wrenching the hold even harder and asking ' DOES THAT HURT" before letting go just to stomp on Jackson's face. Lawler telling more hacky jokes. They aren't funny at all but he laughs at every single one, which is yet another example of how great a heel he is. He isn't funny, just annoying. Lawler with a fistdrop, before standing over Al to taunt him. Al chops Lawler in the mouth and Lawler freaks out that he chipped his tooth. Lawler has had enough and gives the referee the microphone before rushing Jackson in rage. Jackson with a HUGE BACKBODY DROP. Lawler got up so high that he almost over rotated and landed on his feet. The crowd is losing it. I've rarely seen a wimpy get such a reaction for a comeback. Jackson hits some jabs and a shuffle before a big punch sends Lawler flying. Jackson climbs the top rope with a big dropkick that sends Lawler flying again. A great touch is right before he gets hit, Lawler screams and actually puts his arms up like he's trying to block it. Another huge back body drop by Jackson. He whips Lawler into the ropes and looks for another back body drop, but Lawler with THE PILEDRIVER AND HE PULLS THE TIGHTS ANYWAYS FOR THE WIN. Lawler gets on the microphone and acts like he just didn't get his ass kicked tremendous.
This was absolutely great. This was the full Heel Jerry Lawler experience. He's such an annoying little prick that you want to see his ass kicked, and when he finally does start getting his ass kicked it's super satisfying. Lawler's bumping was absolutely incredible here. He did everything possible to make Jackson look good without losing anything himself. Props to Jackson too who was great in his role, and I do wonder if WWE was giving him a look based on how much offense he had in this match. Like all squashes that subvert the format well, This makes my Hall of Fame. It's just so unique. I love Lawler using a microphone to talk shit during a match.
God I wish Mic'd up existed when Larry Bird played
TLDR Review
Al Jackson gives a hell of a backbody drop. Lawler takes a hell of a backbody drop. Backbody drop in the club tonight, that's a party rock anthem joke..... hey guys remember LMFAO? You don't? Shit, am I old?
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