Brock Lesnar Vs Spanky WWE SmackDown 08-14-2003
Two Years.
That's the length of Brock Lesnar's initial WWE run. I know, I couldn't believe it either. Brock Lesnar returned to WWE in 2012, so this second run has lasted five times as long as the initial run. His initial run though was epic. I don't think WWE has ever successfully pushed a guy to the moon that quickly. They've pushed guys quick, but what said Brock apart was he was actually ready for it. Lesnar debuted in March 2002 by destroying three guys in a hardcore match . This was before I was the internet, so all I had to go on was a PWI 500 entry written while Lesnar was in OVW that mentioned he could do a shooting star press. I could be wrong, but I don't think Lesnar's gimmick in OVW was even close to "absolute monster psycho". Didn't he wear a singlet and do amateur wrestling stuff? So imagine the surprise when he shows up with Paul Heyman and murders poor Spike Dudley with powerbombs. The Lesnar push continued, so much so that within SIX MONTHS he wins the King of the Ring, Beats Hulk Hogan, and Beats The Rock to become the WWE Undisputed Champion. Not only that, but it never felt like he was shoved down people's throats. He just was that good and got that over that quickly. He then goes through regular WWE badass heel champion routine. Loses the belt, turns babyface, becomes babyface champion, feuds with some guys, and of course has to turn back heel because they realize he's better at it . Whenever a monster that has turned face needs to e turned back heel, WWE has always been great at immediately throwing them into the fire to remove any trace of likability. Someone must be sacrificed to the gods of Heel Heat
Sorry Spanky
Its August of 2003 and on this edition of WWE Smackdown Brock Lesnar will be going against Spanky . Last week Lesnar completed his heel turn by joining forces with Vince McMahon and attacking Kurt Angle. Early in the night Spanky squirted chocolate on Vince McMahon who was upset and is punishing Spanky by sending him into the ring with Lesnar. I can only imagine what Vince would do if he had a Highspots Wrestling Network scrip and watched the Paul London and Spanky shoot interview. BEST 9.99 IN THE BUSINESS PARTNA. Lesnar already in the ring when Spanky comes out. Spanky's "Hey You" entrance theme is one of my favorites of this era for sure. Spanky is of course the future Brian Kendrick, and oh boy does that future hold some twists and turns. At this time period, Spanky was definitely someone people thought could be the next Shawn Michaels. It seems like a lazy comparison because HBK trained him, but Spanky was incredibly good in the ring and had a natural and likeable charisma. Spanky psyches himself up then rushes the ring and attacks Lesnar. It's a bold strategy cotton lets see if it pays off.
It does not
Lesnar gets the quick advantage and tosses Spanky across the ring. Poor Spanky is still fighting, but Lesnar somehow throws him even farther on the second attempt. Holy shit. Lesnar whips Spanky into the belt buckle, who takes the Bret Hart front bump but staggers out and throws a back elbow. That was super cool transition someone should steal. It gives Spanky enough seperation to climb the top rope FOR A HURRACAOHNOLESNAR CAUGHT HIM. Lesnar catches Spanky and Powerbombs him. And then powerbombs him again. And then a third time. Each one looks devastating. The Lesnar triple powerbomb is unheralded in the world of " Holy Shit Wrestling Moves". Lesnar is annoyed Spanky got any offense in so he goes outside, tosses the timekeeper away and grabs a steel chair. I bet he's just tired and wants to sit down. It'll be ok.
Arrested Development Voice, It wasn't
Lesnar hits Spanky WITH A FUCKING OBSCENE UNPROTECTED CHAIRSHOT. A Full on Baseball swing. Maybe the chair shot sound is sweetened, but if it isn't MAY GOD HAVE MERCY ON US ALL. No wonder Brian's brain is full of worms now. Jesus. Spanky is busted open, and I guess Lesnar feels bad about hitting him in the head so he starts hitting him in the back instead. He's so thoughtful/ The referee rings the bell and Spanky wins by DQ, but Lesnar didn't hear no bell as this ain't over. Lesnar takes Spanky's blood and rubs it all over his body which is somehow less erotic than it sounds. He headbutts Spanky's cuts and tosses Spanky through the middle rope. Spanky never touches the ropes so he just splats right on the floor. At this point it looks like Lesnar is busted open, but its a Skeet Ulrich in Scream scenario because it isn't his own blood. It's Spanky's. Lesnar stalks Spanky around the outside and PRESS SLAMS HIM INTO THE POST. Spanky spins from the impact and hits the floor. Lesnar finally decides he has enough and walks away. He has absolutely destroyed Spanky and guess what, he never even hit his finisher. That's how you build a monster
This is without a doubt the most brutal squash match we've covered so far. That chair shot was villainous and Spanky got obliterated here. They really wanted to make Lesnar out to be a monster heel again and mission fucking accomplished. I'm borderline speechless.. I'm starting my own conspiracy theory that Spanky died here and Brian Kendrick replaced him. It makes a lot more sense than what really happened Hall of Fame Squash
TLDR REVIEW
So much CTE. So much Blood. So much Powerbombs
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