The Spoiler vs Jeff Lang WWF Championship Wrestling 08-25-1984
I love the 70s.
Not in the Green Screen, VH1 filling airtime kind of way. I don't ironically wear leisure suits. I don't unironically wear leisure suits. Nothing about wearing a suit is leisurely. Show me a guy who wears a suit on a regular basis for non-work reasons and I'll show you someone who could benefit from therapy. I just find than when it comes to pop culture a lot of my favorite stuff comes from that era. It's the decade that brought us Punk, The Godfather, Slapshot, The Muppet Show , SNL and so much more. It's an absolutely insane decade. I assume a lot of the decisions of the era fueld by cocaine , but not too much cocaine. Like enough cocaine to discuss your favorite Tom Petty albums, but not too much cocaine where you start power ranking The Heartbreaker's contributions. YOU SHUT YOUR MOUTH AND STOP DISRECPECTING BENMONT TRENCH. When it comes to media, my first instinct is always something from that era.
Music? Let's put on some Warren Zevon
TV? Slowly working through Rockford Files
Movie? Time to watch Phantom Of The Paradise again
Wrestling?........uhhhhh
I cant get into 70s wrestling, I just can't. The criticism of 1970s movie and television is that everything is too slow and nothing happens for long stretches of time. I can't say I disagree, but that's sort of why I love it. I love when stuff has a chance to breathe on a show or in a movie, but in wrestling it can't fuck all the way off. I was born in 1988, and so I'm sure a lot of this is inherent bias. When some of your earliest memories involve Jushin Liger, I'm pretty sure guys working a headlock for ten minutes just can't get my motor running. I know it's isn't fair, but whenever I've tried to get into it I ...well...couldn't get into it. A personal rule for myself is that with I'm going to hate most things pre-Hulkamania era. It isn't even about Hogan, it's just about the timeframe. I'm going to have to break that rule for a few times with this blog, and who knows maybe I'll find something I surprisingly liked.
We call that foreshadowing kids.
Tonight's match is between Jeff Lang and The Spoiler. The Spoiler is one of those guys whos name I've heard but I've never seen a match of his. According to my research, Wikipedia, he was a big star in the 1970s in WWF and NWA . I've heard people mention how good he was, but Spoiler Alert, I never believed them. He's a 70s wrestler, I'm sure it's all rest holds. Going into this match Spoiler is back in WWF and near the end of his run. Accordingly to my trusty research team, Wikipedia again, he is 44 going into this match. I'm sure this will be great.
Ok that last sentance was sarcastic, but it was also correct, because this is surprisingly awesome.
First off, I can't tell if it's the cameras or the outfit or a combo of both but The Spoiler's entrance gear is so shiny. That giant crab from Moana Shiny. He sang a song called Shiny. That's pretty Shiny. Spoiler is all over Lang from the jump. Spoiler gets Lang in the ropes and then starts kicking the ropes against Lang to hurt him. If you've read my blog enough you know I love innovative offense and this certainly is that. Spoiler also climbs the top rope and does the Undertaker walk ( yes I know Taker stole it from Spoiler), but he just holds onto the guys hair and pulls the whole time. He is such an asshole while also being athletic and it's awesome. Now, I've mentioned before my least favorite squash match move is the rope choke. It turns out, it wasn't that I hated the rope choke its that I hated people who do it bad. Spoiler starts using the bottom rope and stomping on Lang and the rope and it's so unique and great
Oh my god? Is this what pro wrestling love is like?
Then Spoiler walks the top rope AGAIN and drops an axhandle following by some nasty knee drops out of the corner. It's hard to describe, but imagine a Vader Bomb where instead he kneed you in the face. A little bit more and The Spoiler comes off the top rope again with THE CLAW!. I love the claw and I wish it was a finisher in wrestling again. I love a finisher where I can go, yeah that'd hurt...I buy it. We've all had a dad claw us, I think. I like the claw even better when it's off the top rope because everything off the top rope is better. Spoiler Alert, he wins
Wow, I didn't expect that. This is what the whole blog is about, finding wrestlers I never really had the time for before. Also knowing this is late stage Spoiler means I should probably track down some of his earlier stuff for this blog. I went back and forth on it, but ultimately I decided this should be in The Hall of Fame for now. He got in with the Veterans Committee, but he's still in. Great match
TLDR REVIEW
I wanna know what love is. The Spoiler showed me. Jim Rockford is so damn charming
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