Money Inc (Ted DiBiase & IRS) vs Reno Riggins & Gary Sabough WWF March to Wrestlemania IX 03-28-1993
It always makes me laugh when leftist ideas sneak their way into wrestling.
It doesn't happen very often. I love pro wrestling, but historically it's politics have always leaned towards conservative. Leaned? who am I kidding. All you need for evidence is well.... take your pick. Do you want to start with the race-bating, the homophobia, the xenopohobia, the sexism, the misogny, or another ism I either forgot about or didn't realize their was a name for yet. Obviously some changes have been made recently, but it's very glaring to see those conservative values in early pro wres. That said, every now and then it dawns on me something in wrestling can be viewed as leftist and nobody ever seemed to notice
Money Inc
Hear me out, on one hand you have "The Million Dollar Man" Ted Dibiase. His gimmick is not only that he's rich, but that he's a rich asshole. He has all this money and won't share it with anyone. He has employees that he won't pay a fair wage. He's generally a miserable and arrogant human being that tries to buy his way through everything.
He's Jeff Bezos.
Or Elon Musk.
Or Mark Zuckerberg.
Or a bunch of other guys
His tag partner, Irwin R Schyster aka I.R.S. Subtle name. His gimmick is of a evil tax accountant who wants the money of the working class fans of the WWF, BUT PROTECTS TED DIBIASE. This gimmick is basically , WE SHOULDNT LET IRS PROTECT MILLIONAIRES. No fucking shit. This was nearly 30 years ago and Vince Mcmahon had a heel tag team on television that was Bernie Sanders' whole point. Like dude, if Vince McMahon in 1993 can see it, I don't know how other people can't
I know I shouldn't be holding Money Inc up as this lofty standard of leftism in pro wrestling, because it's more surface level than that . Odds are it was Vince going, people hate rich people and people hate the IRS so lets put them together pal. The odds of that are 100 percent. Well, let's deep dive into this squash match and see if I can make any other rash conclusions from it. I swear to god if one of them does a move called the Cayman Island Driver I'm gonna flip the fuck out
This matchup takes place at a special for the USA Network called March to Wrestlemania IX. Catchy. This was a one-off show designed to hype up the upcoming PPV, where Money Inc will be taking on the Mega-Maniacs of Brutus Beefcake and Hulk Hogan. The first few minutes of this video highlight the feud, from the Jimmy Hart turn to the Hogan return to other stuff, it wasn't a squash match so I didn't care. On the wimpy team, we have Reno Riggins and a returning Gary Sabough. This is Gary's second appearance, and I was trying to figure out why the hell he had Italy on his tights. It turns out, he's the friggin Italian Stallion. A legendary wimpy in pro wrestling. He also is apparently too cheap to get gear that makes sense out of context. His partner is Reno Riggins, who does not actually exist. I will explain that joke in another entry, but for about fifteen years my group of friends and I have been gaslighting our other friend Ben that Reno isn't real.
I will be fascinated to see if 1., my memory that Money Inc are kind of boring is correct, and 2. how much IRS sweats. That guy sweated more than a whore in church, and the church has the furnace on. That's why she's sweating. Be sex positive ya goofs. I've always thought it was really cool when dudes wrestle in suits, or shirts and ties so I want to like IRS, but he just doesn't usually do it for me. Sabough gets the better of IRS with a shoulder block and a hip toss, I swear he did the exact same sequence in the last match I saw him in. So if Bianca Del Rio ever asked him what he did successfully, that'd be the answer. IRS able to counter and toss Sabough out of the ring where Dibiase takes advantage by hitting his head into the ringsteps. Sabough gets to tag in Riggins, but Riggins ends up the victim of Money Inc and their tandem offense. They hit him with the dreaded, dangerous, and violent....DOUBLE BACK ELBOW!
God that move sucks.
Dibiase hits chops on Reno in the corner, but the kind that doesn't actually hurt the guy. Coward. Reno comes out of the corner for A HUGE BACKBODY DROP. Reno almost over rotated and landed on his feet, it was incredible. Money Inc continuing to hurt Reno which such great double team moves as, Hold the guy and then the other guy punches him and then hold the guy and the other guy kicks him. So innovative. IRS and Dibiase trade suplexes on Reno, before Dibiase locks in the million dollar dream for the win.
Well this stunk. There was nothing flashy or well interesting at all to Money Inc. The gimmicks work together, but their was no real chemistry. If I was being kind I would call it methodical wrestling. if I was being honest I'd say it was shitty and boring. This is why you don't stan billionaires guys, they're bad at wrestling and.....being humans.
TLDR Review
Capitalism, more like Crapitalism? Money Inc, more like Money Stink? Gary Sabough, more like Italian Stallion
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