Colt Cabana vs Belgian Brawler OVW 6-22-07
I still can't believe WWE whiffed so hard on Colt Cabana
I mean, I shouldn't be surprised. This blog is chock full of cautionary tales and can't miss prospects who somehow missed. But even for WWE, the unwillingness to do anything with Cabana is shocking. A veteran of the independent wrestling scene, Colt Cabana always had the uncanny ability to stand out. Whereas so many wrestlers would zig, Cabana would zag. When everyone was becoming a serious pro wrestler, Cabana was one of the few who leaned into the entertainment side. When everyone learned how to do that British style of wrestling and wasted my time with hours of intricate wristlocks, Cabana learned that style and used it to become an expert comedy wrestler. He may not have had the best match on the show, but you were always going to remember Colt Cabana's match. So when rumors surfaced that WWE was interested in Colt Cabana, it made perfect sense. If you asked me in 2007 what indie wrestler would have had the most success in WWE, I would have answered Colt Cabana without blinking an eye. I didn't think he would be a world champion, but c'mon it writes itself. Cabana had charisma not only up the ass, but out the ass as well. He was going to be a great foil to some shitty heel. In a company that's all about filling TV time, you could spend a million worse ways than getting Cabana on their for a segment.
I should have known better
Some of this is on me for displaying any faith in the creative process of World Wrestling Entertainment, but I refuse to fully blame myself. WWE either didn't realize what they had in Colt Cabana or didn't care. While under developmental control for two years, Cabana never received an actual shot at the main roster. He appeared with zero fanfare as "Scotty Goldman", and had a handful of televised matches before being released. He lost all of them by the way. Not everything can be a home run, I understand that. But they didn't even let Cabana in the game....or even in the stadium for that matter. For the life of me I couldn't figure it out. I call it the Tonic effect, wondering if they could only see. Well maybe now they'll see, as we're going to go all the way back to beginning of the failed Cabana experiment. Let's take a trip down to Ohio Valley
We are in June of 2007 and it's a rousing edition of Ohio Valley Wrestling and Colt Cabana's debut match. OVW was the developmental territory of WWE, and this will be Cabana's first non-wimpy role televised match. Part of the developmental process is training guys for TV wrestling, but I doubt anyone seemed as TV ready as Cabana. It's best evidenced by the fact, WE GET A PRETAPE BABY. OVW Heel Mike Kruel storms into the locker room with his entourage complaining about something or other. I believe Mike Kruel's gimmick is that of Team America, but the whole team is made up of foreign heels. As he yells at his crew, Cabana is the background singing Copacabana. This catches the attention of a young Vladimir Kozlov, yes that Vladimir Kozlov, who starts dancing. This infuriates Kruel and after some dialogue that seems like it was written by a drunk AI or Tommy Wiseau, a match is made. Colt Cabana vs The Belgian Brawler!. The Belgian Brawler's gimmick is, well you kind of get it from the name. He looks like Col Debeers, but without all the apartheid. Cabana is out first and gets a great reaction for a guy making his debut. He had earned enough street cred by this point that people were getting hyped for his arrival. Belgian Brawler is out next and his entrance is so quick and brief, that it becomes obvious what's about to happen to him,. You bought to get squashed bro. They announced Belgian Brawler's real name, but I didn't hear it so I'm going to pretend his first name is Belgian and his last name is Brawler. They lock up and Cabana quickly get's the advantage with his British style wrestling, eventually tying Brawler in a pin attempt all while saying Hello to the camera. Belgian Brawler counters a hammerlock with a back elbow, but Cabana able to use the corner and hit a kick to the top of Brawler's head. Cabana is so great at doing thee little moments that make the heel just look silly. Cabana hits Brawler with chops and punches, but when the referee tells Cabana to stop with the closed fits Cabana just open hand chops Brawler's head. Cabana whips Brawler into the corner and hits a Flying Asshole, I refuse to call it anything else. This allows Cabana t lock in the Billy Goat's Curse, a reverse Boston Crab, for the win. God I wish that move was used more often, I think it looks rad as shit
Quick and fun squash, and really a microcosm of the Colt Cabana experience. It's a damn shame there wasn't a run of Cabana on like Velocity tying up various indie wrestlers and making them look silly. It's annoying to see how much promise Cabana had in WWE. I don't know how you watch this 3 minutes and think, nope not worth our time. Colt did alright for himself, and hell Art of Wrestling may go down as the most influential piece of wrestling media ever created. But please for me, for old time's sake
Remember how badly they whiffed
TLDR Review
WWE missed the boat on Colt Cabana. WWE whiffed on colt cabana. I cant stress enough how much it still annoys me
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