Eddie Guerrero vs Jimmy Jacobs WWE Smackdown 05-12-2005
I was a bit embarrassing in High School
I know, I'll give you a minute to process the bombshell of information I dropped on you. I had the fun combination of " I'M FUNNY EVERYONE LOOK AT ME BE FUNNY" mixed with " ON SECOND THOUGHT DONT LOOK AT ME". The early years of high school were terrible. I was just utterly miserable all the time. I just seemed kind of lost. Things did turn around for me though. A lot of it probably had to do with growing half a foot over a summer, so I became a bit more difficult to bully. I also did what I think every high schooler did should do if they can, I found a sanctuary. My sanctuary became the cable access studio. My junior year I started hanging around there and working on "The Morning Show", a monthly show about the school. It was about as riveting as it sounds. I actually became a host, and by senior year I got an internship there and was running the whole thing. It's pretty cringe to look back on, so I don't. But it's pretty much a reflection of everything I thought was cool and funny in 2006. Family Guy jokes, 80's hair metal, and trying really really hard. Ugh. For the record, still into hair metal. I did have one problem though ( other than crippling social anxiety), I needed a signature signoff. I needed a hook. I needed something to signal the show was over
Huss
For my last year of High School I was the "Huss" kid and it's 100 percent because of Jimmy Jacobs. For whatever reason, from the first time I saw the gimmick I became obsessed with it. For those who don't remember the Jimmy Jacobs before he fell in love with Lacey, Jimmy played a character nicknamed "The Barbaric Berserker". All it was Jimmy Jacobs pretending he was The Berserker/Bruiser Brody. Except Jimmy was about a foot and a half shorter. I thought it was the coolest thing ever, and in my desire to incept everyone I've ever met into watching wrestling, I knew I needed to pay tribute to Jimmy Jacobs. So I started throwing Huss onto the show, and then people started yelling at me in the hallways, and then I incorporated the hand gesture more, and then it was my thing. It's one of those things I forgot ever happened until I'm drunk with my friends and someone brings it up and by the end of the night I'm grabbing that wrist and yelling it again except this time there's a White Claw in it.
Why hasn't anyone done WCW? White Claw Wrestling.
So tonight we flash back to 2005. I'm still in High School, and we're only a few months away from the dawn of Hussamania at my school. I figured this is a fun little time capsule match here, as this was the beginning of an important time in my life. I'm at the tail end of my junior year of high school and next year will be the only year in High School I have fond memories of. Probably because I knew I was leaving. It's WWE Smackdown and Jimmy Jacobs will be taking on Eddie Guerrero. This is the Eddie Guerrero who recently turned heel. Eddie is usually a heel, no big deal right? Except, this was a different kind of heel Eddie Guerrero. This Eddie was psychotic, something he had never played before. Where the typical heel Eddie Guerrero is more of a chickenshit, this Eddie Guerrero makes chickens shit. Out of fear I guess? I'm tired. Eddie comes to the ring bearing the mask of Rey Mysterio who he recently unmasked. Yeah no shit Ben. He puts the mask on the corner post and gets ready for action. That is Chekov's mask. This is not the Barbaric Berserker version of Jimmy Jacobs, but not quite Ballad of Lacey either. It's the transition period. I know people book him now and want him to do "Emo Jimmy" again, but I want him to bring back the Huss guy. Eddie has the referee check Jimmy, but uses that time to clothesline Jimmy. Then he hits him with a combo of punches and kicks that take Jimmy down. He whips Jimmy into the ropes and hits him with a back elbow. I've made fun of the back elbow as a lazy move before, but not the way Eddie Guerrero does it. Eddie then hits NICE BACK SUPLEX. Jimmy got all the way up there and then got all the way down.
OH SHIT WE'RE GETTING CHARACTER WORK
Eddie then looks at the Rey mask and begins talking to it and arguing with it. He asks the mask WHY DID YOU MAKE ME DO IT. The mask does not talk back. Then in what is a great moment, Eddie puts the mask on Jimmy and kicks his ass EVEN HARDER. He's calling him Rey the whole time as he just keeps punching him in the now masked face. He tosses Jimmy outside the ring and Jimmy has a rough landing with a hard splat. Eddie then decides to get a chair. Probably just needs to rest his little feet. Of course that's not Eddie's plan. You can tell because Eddie Guerrero has got those crazy eyes. He scares off the referee and stalks Jimmy before setting the chair down and HITTING A BRAINBUSTER. Jimmy wins via DQ. Eddie then rips the mask off and talks to it, telling Reys's mask " If you show up your kids won't have a daddy"
Well Dominic technically will.
This match is pretty well-known as far as squash matches go, but I was a little disappointed. I loved Eddie in this match and Jimmy did a great job, but I thought there was more too it. Other than the Brainbuster and the character work, there wasn't anything about the match that stood out. It's a good match, but unfortunately I can't put it in my hall of fame. Kind of a disappointing end to this article. Wait I got it
Huss
TLDR Review
I was a giant dork. Eddie Guererro was a giant psycho. So WCW has to have White Claws as the ring posts right?
If you're interested in more condensed version of my thoughts, You can check out my Twitter where I talk about wrestling or stress out during Boston Celtics games. Hell, I'll even take suggestions for matches you want to see reviewed. You can also check out my Youtube where I make weird videos where I put on wigs in front of a camera to mask my true identity.