Fit Finlay vs Lorenzo WCW Saturday Night 03-21-1998
In theory wrestling should cater to everyone.
I say in theory because sometimes wrestling gets to be a bit too niche and up it's ass for it's own good. Wrestling should be something that can be enjoyed, or at least tolerated, by the whole family. There should be larger than life heroes for the little boys. There should be strong female protagonists for the girls. There should some some badassery for the dad. There should be some hunks for the mom because odds are if she's at a wrestling show than either the kids or dad dragged her there. Much like a shitty strap match, wrestling has to hit all four quadrants to succeed. We're forgetting an important family member here. No, not your cousin Steve who swears to you that there were two Steve Austins. I'm talking about the patriarch of the patriarch. I'm talking about your grandfather. Wrestling fandom has a habit at being passed down generationally, so there's a chance your grandpa was a pro wrestling fan. Maybe the world passed him by a bit and he couldn't keep up. He doesn't want to live in our modern lifestyle. Fuck that, stuff is dumb now. So how can he follow pro wrestling without an avatar, not the Al snow Version. Well hyptheticall grandpa, you're in luck
Fit Finlay is for the grandads
I'm probably speaking to my own personal experience here. Well, I think that makes sense because it is literally a blog about my own personal experiences. My grandpa didn't care about wrestling much but he loved Fit Finlay and it's easy to see why. I'm from Massachusetts, meaning I got a lot of Irish in me. So when my Irish grandfather saw me watching an episode of WCW Saturday Night in the 90s, of course he was going to gravitate to Fit Finlay. He saw an Irish guy just beating the absolute shit out of everyone who stepped in his way. My grandfather probably had a 'Hey that's me" sort of flashback. It's like when people saw Charlie Bronson in Death Wish and fancied themselves a vigilante. Luckily my grandpa didn't become the Bernie Goetz of pro wrestling fandom, but he had to have thought about it. It's easy to see why Fit Finlay is for the grandads. For starters, he looks a hell of a lot older than he actually is. It's easier to identify with a character you resemble. Two, he acts like a grumpy old man. Not all grandpas are mean, but most of them have pretty much had it with everyone else's bullshit by the time they reach retirement age. Fit Finlay's character also had it with everyone else's bullshit, but he got the fantasy of beating up the cause of his problems. I'm sure grandpas all around the world watch Finlay matches and daydream about doing that to the Guy at the Apple Store who made him feel stupid. EAT SHIT DYLAN.
But tonight it won't be Dylan eating shit, "You gonna tell people I housed Dylan's shit? So join me as we flash back to March of 1998 for an edition of WCW Saturday Night. Tonight we have Fit Finlay taking on Lorenzo. Lorenzo is out first and he looks like a knockoff Fabio. Oh god, just knowing what was coming I can't help but imagine how much my grandfather would have loved this. Lorenzo is a jacked pretty boy, which is a great dichotomy to Finlay. Finlay comes through the WCW Saturday Night doors with his bleached blonde hair and doesn't look too pleased. I think if I ever saw Finlay smile I'd be worried. Finlay already yelling at Lorenzo before the match begins which can't be a good sign For Lorenzo. They lock up and Finlay gets a tight headlock followed by a nerve hold. Finlay then follows with an unnerving hold which is grabbing at Lorenzo's nose before giving a big forearm to Lorenzo's schnoze. I've never had to type schnoze before .
I guess I've never talked about Jimmy Durante much.
Finaly follows up on that with a big stiff bodyslam and an even stiffer kick. Lorenzo has clearly pissed Finlay off which is probably why Finlay stomps on his hand as well. Lorenzo finally mounts some offense, but botches a leapfrog and Finlay gets a little bit of Lorenzo weiner in his face. Uh-oh, I can't imagine he loves that. We get the awkward....uhhhh we botch a spot moment...., before Finlay takes control with some punches. Finlay drags Lorenzo halfway outside the ring and starts elbowing his chest. Finlay then with a snake eyes and a stiff elbow to the chest. When it comes to strikes, ain't such thing as halfway crooks as far as Finlay's concerned. Every elbow looks like it hurts and every kick sounds like it hurts more, as evidence by ANOTHER another stiff kick to Lorenzo's back. Finlay feigns an Irish Whip, but instead turns it into another stiff clothesline. With the amount of times I've said stiff in this match I need a Blue Chew sponsorship. Maybe I'll get it when I cover a Rock Hard Rick match. Finlay clearly bored with punches so let's headbutt Lorenzo and then slam him down. Finlay again with elbows and knees to a downed Finlay. Jesus Christ who did Lorenzo piss off. LORENZO FINALLY MOUNTS A COMEBACK. RIGHT HAND BY LORENZO. RIGHT HAND BY LORENZO. RIGHT, Nope ,Finlay poked him in the eye. Finlay locks in am armbar for a while, before stretching him with a hammerlock. Given how the rest of the match has gone, I'm gonna guess that's a little snug. Huge European uppercut by Finlay followed by a SICK FINLAY ROLL. Finlay barely moved forward, he just basically did a standing front flip with Lorenzo on his shoulders. Finlay again with a hard slam and Finlay climbs the top for a Vader bomb. Lorenzo gets the knees up and let's try a comeback one more time. Lorenzo shakes his hand before throwing a punch at Finlay and I wish my grandpa was alive to see how stupid that looked and how deserving of an ass kicking Lorenzo was. Lorenzo rushes' Finlay in the corner, but Finlay sidesteps him and Lorenzo runs into the post. Finlay gets Lorenzo in a sick Tombstone Piledriver, why does every nasty squash match have to feature a tombstone piledriver, for the win
Well that hurt. Lorenzo got his ass kicked by Finlay plain and simple. There's no way Finlay is hungry after chewing up Lorenzo like that. So this doesn't make my hall of fame quite yet , but it may on a re-watch. There was just enough dead time to keep it out of the hall, but that's just like my opinion man. If you're a fan of the Finlay style of hitting people very hard in very safe places, than just is for you. The elbows especially look killer. I don't know what Finlay was mad about, but Lorenzo certainly found out.
Finlay probably tried to use a self checkout or something
WHAT DO YOU MEAN THE ITEM ISNT IN THE BAGGAGE AREA, THATS IT IM KICKING SOMEONES ASS
TLDR Review
Finlay stiff Lorenzo. Lorenzo has a hard time. I'm going to make a fortune off this SEO.
If you're interested in more condensed version of my thoughts, You can check out my Twitter where I talk about wrestling or stress out during Boston Celtics games. Hell, I'll even take suggestions for matches you want to see reviewed. You can also check out my Youtube where I make weird videos where I put on wigs in front of a camera to mask my true identity.