Danny Demanto vs Low Ki JAPW World Wide 03-26-2005
I'm one of those people who's childhood overlapped with the internet.
I still remember the day we got out first computer and logged onto American Online. Before that the computer was just something my dad played Oregon Trail on. In his defense, he played it a lot. Not in his defense, he kept track of his high scores..... like a sociopath. As soon as we got AOL I immediately logged onto the WWF website and would go there whenever I could.
I would also go to .....no that was pretty much it.
The internet was new to me, I didn't know where else I could possibly go. The internet was sort of a novelty , we didn't realize cruising down the information super highway would leave to he multi-car pile up that would destroy our civilization as we knew it. I just thought it was a place I could download Conan O Brien soundbites ( I can still hear him say GREETINGS NERD). Eventually we moved on up like the Jeffersons and got the fancy Comcast internet back when it was Adelphia. As I grew up, so did the internet. You needed the internet to have any sort of social life in middle and high school, I mean how could you make any plans without AIM? I still mainly used it for wrestling though. That's where I discovered wrestling forums a opened my world view.
By my junior year of high school, I thought this can't get any better. Put in a long crappy day at school, then I'll head home alk on AIM with some girls I'm too nervous to talk to in person, download some matches off yousendit links and then hang out on Rajah.com forums until dinner. Truly I was living in blessed times. Then one fateful day, someone in the art class went on the computer and pulled up a site I had never heard of.
YouTube
It makes me sound old, but YouTube was a game changer. It was a lot more lawless back then so there'd be all sorts of copyrighted stuff on there. It's a website that showed up one day and I was immediately hooked. Everyone was. The kids in my art class were so hooked that the school put on a block on any YouTube links about 48 hours after they shared the discovery. Nobody could just be cool about anything. Ok, let's do this. YouTube blah blah content creators blah blah democratic content blah blah new media blah blah. That's all well and good but for me, YouTube was all about the rasslin'. I'm not talking about the kind I cover here, one off matches and the like. I'm talking about INTERNET WRESTLNG SHOWS
If I didn't feel old before, I certainly feel old now because I remember when Internet Wrestling Shows were new. Long before the AEW Darks of the world, wrestling companies had their lives shows, their PPVS, their DVDs and that was it. With the rise of video sharing sites, companies decided to take a risk and try to capitalize with weekly episodic TV. The main success of the genre was Jersey All Pro Wrestling's Worldwide. I had only heard of JAPW as a company where major ROH names had had their earliest success. Guys like Homicide, Da Hit Squad, Jay Lethal, Elax and some of the other biggest names on the indies. JAPW was the pioneer of internet wrestling shows with World Wide. Their production style was unique, as in actually good, and it was through their show I was first introduced to guys like Kevin Owens and El Generico. They focused heavily on the personalities of the roster and it worked. I can still hear the theme song for Beef Wellington's Garden of Make Believe theme song in my head. Before it became mostly about hyping up future events with character work, they did something very rare in indie wrestling in the 2000s.
Fucking Squash Matches Bro
And what better squash match on paper than Danny Demanto vs Low Ki from the first season of JAPW World Wide. We've seen Low Ki on the blog before where he shoot-kicked someone in the face so hard that he knocked him out.
On the very first move.
So yeah, the bar is set real high for old Low-Ki. This is "Gangsta Low-Ki" era, when he had let his hair grow out and was teaming regularly with Homicide. It's basically the same as regular Low-Ki, except he is somehow meaner. His opponent tonight is Danny Demanto . Demanto is very much a mid 2000s sort of shlubby indie wrestler. He isn't in the best shape and he wears pleather shorts. I know I just described half of the wrestlers in 2005, but it's not my fault he looks like that. Demanto was someone who everyone hated and I don't remember why. He was the kind of guy you'd read mean things about on message boards. Who knows if it was justified or not, I don't really want to litigate DOI message board drama from 17 years ago. So here we have a guy everyone hates versus a guy who seems to hate everyone. I think if this is anything less than a murder I''ll be disappointed.
So will the crowd in the ECW arena who are serenading Demanto with chants that "Low Ki's gonna kill you" right off the rip. They go for a lockup, but Low Ki ducks and levels Demanto with forearms to the back. I've called that move shit before, but now the way Low Ki does them. Low Ki's secret seems to be hit the guy as fucking hard as you can. He's blasting Demanto so hard that his forearms sound like chops, Jesus Christ. What sounds more like the chops, are the chops as Low Ki ABSOLUTELY BLISTERS DEMANTO IN THE CORNER . Demanto is a thick boy and there is a lot of meat that is getting tenderized by Low Ki. Can you tell I'm exited I'm having steak for dinner as soon as I finish this entry? Low Ki is excited too, which is probably why he snap mares Demanto and SOCCER KICKS THE FUCK OUT OF HIS BACK. We need to cover every Low Ki squash ever on this site guys.
That's my new mission statement.
Demanto tries to get some offense ,but noted Kennedy Davenport superfan Low Ki says "Fuck Your Drag" and levels him with another stiff forearm. Low Ki with a European uppercut and ONE OF THE LOUDEST CHOPS I'VE EVER HEARD. I don't know why people hated Demanto, but clearly Low Ki was one of them. He stomps Demanto on the face and then taunts Demanto with soccer kicks to the head. Demanto finally gets some shots in with some really lackluster forearms, before whipping Low Ki into the ropes and hitting a MANHATTAN DROP. DEMANTO HAS A SHOT. THE RUSSIAN IS CUT. LOW KI FEELS PAIN! Demanto actually gets a run of offense including a big bodyslam to Low Ki, as the crowd goes...to the restroom or something. Not a lot of reaction here for poor Danny Boy. Demanto climbing the top rope looking for his finish, The Hog Splash, HE"S FAT, but no alas there is no water in the pool as Low Ki moves out of the way. Low Ki gets up and attacks Demanto in the corner, before casting Demanto aside and climbing the top. LOW KI DELIVERS AN FULL FORCE DISGUSTING DOUBLE STOMP FOR THE WIN.
Low Ki rules. This was quick and painless, unless you're Danny Demanto than this hurt a lot. I love dudes kicking the shit out of other dudes so this match was right up my alley. Low Ki is such a prick in this match, and apparently Danny Demanto must have been a prick in real life to warrant such a beating. It is hard to tell with Low Ki though, maybe this just means he really liked him?
Naaaaaaaaa
TLDR Review
Low Ki is a squash match savant. Danny Demanto takes a worldwide whipping. I never went to Ogrish.com and this is why I'm less screwed up than most males my age
If you're interested in more condensed version of my thoughts, You can check out my Twitter where I talk about wrestling or stress out during Boston Celtics games. Hell, I'll even take suggestions for matches you want to see reviewed. You can also check out my Youtube where I make weird videos where I put on wigs in front of a camera to mask my true identity.