Test and Albert (T&A) vs. JR Ryder and Vince Goodniite WWF Jakked 10-07-2000
When it comes to watching stuff, I have a justified case of FOMO.
Not in regards to the Timothy Olyphant FX program, that I watched the crap out of. I love me some Raylan Givens. I meant more, well close to everything else. I've mentioned before that the origin of this blog stems a lot from my shortened attention span. I find it very hard to sit down and focus on something for long periods of time. My girlfriend thinks I may have A.D.D. Regardless, I find it very hard to sit down and focus on something for very long periods. My girlfriend thinks I may have A.D.D. I don't know what she's talking about. Either way, that leads to me being picky about choosing what to watch. For the most part, I don't start watching a show until it's a few seasons in or I know it has a satisfactory ending. I wasn't always like that though, I used to be the guy who watched everything. When I was in college, I was up to date on seemingly every prestige television show. Friday Night Lights, The Wire, Jersey Shore, etc. I was on top of it man. So imagine my surprise when I randomly decided to put on an episode of a show called Greek I vaguely recall hearing about once. How the hell did I not watch this show as it aired? It was a cheesy low-stakes teen drama about frats and sororities set during the time frame I was actually in college. It's like the show was meant for me. I NEED TO KNOW WHAT CAPPY DID AFTER GRADUATION. I love that stuff. Even as a shitty wanna be punk rock freshman in high school , I never missed an episode of The OC. IT'S BULLSHIT ADAM BRODY ISN'T A BIGGER STAR. I don't even know if Greek is a good show, but it checked so many of the boxes of the dumb shows I liked. I couldn't believe I had never watched that show, it seemed like even at the time it would have been something I loved. How did I never see this? That's why I have FOMO, because I have missed out
Just like I missed out on T and A
T and A was a tag team comprised of WWE superstars Test and Albert. They were managed by Trish Stratus, hence the name T and A because I know wrestling writers who use subtly and they're all cowards. It wasn't that I didn't know T and A existed, the team as well as the concept, but I just didn't ever actively watch them. They were like the ugly girl in a Freddie Prinze Jr movie, and then they take of their glasses and their two big old hosses with a pun for a tag team name. That's two of my favorite things.
Puns N' Hosses is better than Guns N' Roses in my book. SEE YOU IN HELL AXL.
Nobody has fond memories of T and A, still the tag team and yes I agree that joke is getting old, but given my recent realization that Test was a banger of a squash match wrestler...I think it's time we take a closer look. Let's take a gratuitous look at T and A guys, I'd tell you the last one but let's be honest you know that's not true.
We're here in October 2000 for an edition of WWF Jakked where T and A will be taking on the super duper wimpy duo of JR Ryder and Vince Goodnite. Test and Albert out first accompanied by Trish Stratus dressed in her finest cowboy hat and duster combo. She's like a sexy version of the Saint of all Killers. My feelings on Trish Stratus are the same as every dude from this generation so we can just leave it at that because you know exactly what I mean. You can tell Test and Albert are heels because they wear sunglasses inside. Test looks the same as always, like a hunk, and this is the classic Albert look where he wore that tight black shirt. Both Men go over the top rope to get into the ring.
HELL FUCKING YES
Their opponents are JR Ryder and Vincent Goodnite who are Ben Pasco legends. Not because of their wrestling quality, but they are both obscure references I like to drop. JR Ryder was the runner up on MTV's I Wanna be a Pro Wrestling contest before losing to the Hungarian Barbarian. Vince Goodnite got the illustrious #500 in the PWI 500 in the late 90s. I didn't need to look either one of those facts up. A reminder that it took me three days to build an IKEA Detolf, but I rattled those facts off in fifteen seconds. The match starts off with Ryder and Albert. Ryder looks like what I imagine every indie wrestler looked like back then, long blonde hair, pair of colored tights, lives for New Year's Eve. Albert backs Ryder into the corner, but Ryder escapes and hits some great punches on Albert in the corner. EAT SHIT HUNGARIAN BARBARIAN. He follows it up with some chops to Albert, which just seems silly to do to a man wearing a shirt. I know it still hurts a little, but what are we doing here guys.
I feel like Kid Rock when The Rage Against the Machine bassist climbed the stage at the VMAs,
WHAT ARE WE FIGHTING FOR?
Albert counters with some chops of his own to a bare-chested JR Ryder followed by some kicks to the gut. Albert whips Ryder into the corner who posts up and does either 1. A very unique roll through or 2. completely fucks it up. Cannot tell. Ryder gets Albert into a crucifix and tries to convert it into a sunset flip, as opposed to the usual crucifix when they try to convert you into a Christian, but Albert grabs a hold of Ryder and A BIG TOSS into the corner. I KEEP MY RELIGIOUS FAITH PRIVATE YOU SON OF A BITCH. Albert with a STALLING DOUBLE UNDDERHOOK SUPLEX.
Jesus, Mary and Joseph that was impressive
Albert tags in test and they take out Ryder with a Double Press Slam. That's a long drop for Ryder. Hungarian Barbarian at home counting his blessings. Booga-Lou was also on that MTV Special by the way. Once again, off the top of my head. Test does my favorite heel tag deal and tosses Ryder to his corner so Goodnite can tag in and get killed. Proving my earlier theory about what indie wrestlers looked like...Goodnite has long blond hair, colored lights, and I assume he also lives for New Year's Eve. Goodnite, rushes in but gets hit with a nice tilt a whirl slam by Test. Test whips Goodnite into the corner and rushes, but Goodnite gets the foot up and knocks Test back. He very narrowly avoids a big boot by Test and unloads on Test with punches and a dropkick to stagger the big man. He tags in Ryder who goes for a crossbody but Test catches him. Goodnite sees Test holding Ryder and dropkicks Test which allows a Ryder nearfall, but Test kicks out with authority.
Test is pissed and MURDERS JR RYDER WITH A FULL NELSON SLAM. This is the second Test entry on the blog and both times he absolutely killed the guy with that Full Nelson Slam.
Test tags back in Albert,but Ryder is able to tag in Goodnite. Goodnite, doesn't even make it into the ring because Albert TOSSES HIM FROM THE APRON TO THE OTHER END OF THE RING . Albert with a big avalanche attack to Goodnite. I don't even think there was a move there, he just ran into him like a train. An A Train perhaps. A ....T and A Train? That's what they were missing, a Thomas the Tank Engine gimmick. Albert brings Goodnite to the ropes and gives a guillotine while Trish assists on the outside. This is an absolute shitkicking here.
Love it
Test back in again and whips Goodnite into the corner. Test rushes , but once again Goodnite able to counter with a kick and get separation. Goodnite rushes Test and hops on his shoulders and they proceed to provide us with either an awesome or awful hurracarana. Both men end up on their side, so it looks weird, but I cant tell if I liked it or not. Goodnite ,akes the "hot tag" to Ryder who actually gets some offense on Test with punches and kicks. Test whips him into corner, but once again he can't capitalize on anything in the corner as Ryder goes up and over and then guillotines Test on the ropes. Ryder stumbles off the apron as he does it. Hungarian Barbarian would have landed that. Goodnite tries to take advantage and rush a weakened Test, but TEST DESTROYS GOODNITE WITH A SITOUT POWERBOMB. Trish pulls JR Ryder off the apron because today just ain't JR Ryder's day as far as apron related incidents goes. Ryder tries to get back in, but Test levels him and whips him and Goodnite into the corner for a huge Squash attack. Albert rolls Ryder out and TEST FUCKING DRILLS HIM WITH THE BIG BOOT FOR THE WIN
This was rad as hell man. I can't believe I never appreciated the Test and Albert team before this. This is the kind of match that gets me through the bad matches on this blog. An underrated banger with a underappreciated tag team. Test is slowly sneaking up the all time squash match wrestling rankings man, and I don't think anyone would have predicted that. Albert held his own as well. Props to Vince Goodnite and Jr Ryder who took some awesome bumps in this. It's a great squash that leads me with one simple question
I wonder if Hungarian Barbarian ever got a squash match?
TLDR Review
Test is running up the GOAT Squashing rankings. JR Ryder and Vince Goodnite are running in my memories. Kate Bush is running up that hill and the deal she made with god didn't take effect until this year when her song is getting played everywhere
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